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strengthens my foundation is one of those concepts that i see and just think, DUH. time and again, i run across this topic in meetings, in the literature of my fellowship and in the source of my daily meditations and i wonder whether or not i have anything new to offer, today is certainly one of those days. as i sat and listened i really did not hear anything new and after a minute clean, i really did not expect to hear any thunderclaps or see any burning bushes, it simply is one of those things that just is. i know that serving by welcoming the still suffering addict, sponsoring those men who are nutz enough to ask me to sponsor them, keeping the doors open and carrying a message of hope to those who just may need a bit of hope, is the next right thing to do, and i seem to do that mostly auto-magically. part of serving is acknowledging those who have a clean date anniversary in a very public manner. the cliché is that every addict with one day clean is a miracle, so those with thousands of days clean also need to be honored:

Rebecca Q.
Fourteen (XIV) years clean!
Congrats on doing this gig just for today!

lately i have been wondering how the fVck i could stop being so judgemental about how some of my peers behave. i want to give them the benefit of the doubt, but when their whole lives seem like a bumper sticker and they never really share about what may or may not be going on with them, i get so frustrated that i want to scream “WTF, dude, can you get real for even a minute?” swallowing that frustration is never a good idea for this addict, so i fret and fume and do my best to let it go. what i really desire, would be the ability to take what they share and allow myself to see that they are doing the best they can with what they got, even if all they have is bumper stickers, bon mots and a desire to blow sunshine up the ass of everyone who happens to be in the room. perhaps that is something i need to surrender and allow the POWER that fuels my recovery, to take care of, just for today.
time to make the donuts as that old TV commercial tag line goes. it is a good day to be clean. i did not give anyone the middle finger salute on my trip into the office and now that i dumped a bit of my garbage, i have a bit of the serenity that i lacked. onward and upward into doing the best with what i have.

∞ DT ∞