๐ having faith ๐
Posted: Thu, Aug 21, 2025 10:22:05 AM
that i am going to be okay, no matter the outcome, of any or all the plans that i may make. the past sixty days or so, have been a test of that FAITH. no, not my FAITH in the program of recovery that has brought me this far, nor in the FAITH of the recovery process in general, and not even FAITH that the POWER that powers my recovery will provide me the opportunity to get all that i need. it is the FAITH that i have in myself to make sound decisions and accept consequences that is beginning to wane. even though i am doing everything i can do to move forward in my career and my financial situation. it does not help that i am in my crazy season and i want to spend my way out of the possibility of being in a funk, a very familiar behavior of mine. when the going gets tough, time to browse Amazon, for something bright and shiny to change the way i am feeling. that may work for twenty minutes or so, but actually digs my hole a little bit deeper.
what i am going to do, is go for a hike to the top of Huron Peak. that will certainly change the way i feel and hopefully not nearly as destructively as some of my other options. my knees feel good, even after a hike yesterday and a run this morning, so i have a bit of FAITH that my physical self can match my desire to see the Colorado, once again, from the top of the world. life in my skin is really not as bad as i make it out to be. i have a bit of confidence that i can find something to do, that i like and pays me well enough to support my household. my self-imposed deadline of September First is coming up in eleven days. i know that i can find something and on the second, i change direction, just a bit to see what it is i can find.
just for today, however, i can enjoy my morning coffee and cigar, do a bit of hunting for a job and some skill building and just let go of any expectations i may have formed about how soon and how much things will pop for me. i can and will have FAITH that i will be cared for and that what i seek will be presented in an opportunity that appears right before my eyes, IF i am awake and present for it. maybe not in the next hour, but i have FAITH that it is coming.
what i am going to do, is go for a hike to the top of Huron Peak. that will certainly change the way i feel and hopefully not nearly as destructively as some of my other options. my knees feel good, even after a hike yesterday and a run this morning, so i have a bit of FAITH that my physical self can match my desire to see the Colorado, once again, from the top of the world. life in my skin is really not as bad as i make it out to be. i have a bit of confidence that i can find something to do, that i like and pays me well enough to support my household. my self-imposed deadline of September First is coming up in eleven days. i know that i can find something and on the second, i change direction, just a bit to see what it is i can find.
just for today, however, i can enjoy my morning coffee and cigar, do a bit of hunting for a job and some skill building and just let go of any expectations i may have formed about how soon and how much things will pop for me. i can and will have FAITH that i will be cared for and that what i seek will be presented in an opportunity that appears right before my eyes, IF i am awake and present for it. maybe not in the next hour, but i have FAITH that it is coming.
∞ DT ∞