Some memes

not be facts, but they are reality and to deny or dismiss them is doing myself a great disservice. shit happens, that is just how the world turn. i know that when life on its own terms drives me to distraction, i have the desire to do whatever i can to fix it. some of that time, the fix happens instantly, most of the time, it takes persistent footwork to implement a solution, even when i am ready to give it up and burn the whole thing down. there are many among who seem to believe that putting on a smile and acting as if they are confident things will work out, is the way to go. i, however, am not part of that group. i may believe that things will work out, but i do not put on a smile or deny my feelings of despair, sadness or frustration. i am quite certain that no one likes Donnie Downer, but playing Susie Sunshine is not part of who i am.
my source material could be certainly interpreted as if it was advocating being what i am not. i looked a bit deeper and the message i heard was that no matter what, never lose FAITH or HOPE that things may just work out for the best. i am someone who believes that the POWER that fuels my recovery. provides me opportunities on a daily basis to get what i need and even some of the stuff i want. it is up to me, to be awake and present to recognize those opportunities and THEN to act upon them. i have more than enough FAITH to look for those opportunities and just enough HOPE to think they will work out. i am not a patient person and have often looked at the ancient meme where two vultures are sitting on a branch and one says to the other “Patience, my ass! i'm going to go out and kill me something,” as words to live by. i have been known to me one extreme sort of person although a minute or so clean has rounded off some of my sharper edges. that minute clean has also taught me that no matter how dark the day may seem, for me anyhow, there is more than likely be relief in the future and hopefully the near future.
one of the men sponsor has been having a succession of dark times and i know there s nothing i can do to lift or remove his pain. i know all i can do is be present and offer a figurative shoulder to cry on. he does not need solution, no matter how much i have the desire to offer it. no, i have finally realized he needs a safe place to dump, to vent and to let out his rage. he needs a friend who can be there for him without judging him and who values him, just the way he is today. i can be all of that and so much more, as long as i remember that what he is feeling is real and his pain is not imaginary. when i empathize and not sympathize, i can be part of his solution and allow him the space to find his way out of his darkness. letting others find their own way was never who i thought i was. i was all about solution and learning to listen, rather than suggest is a new and different mode of behavior for me. just for today, i can be the one who supports and validates that yes feelings may not be facts, but they are certainly real.

∞ DT ∞