Blog entry for:

trusting my feelings about what will make me comfortable.
the line that jumped out at me this morning (other than the direct quote above) was that the longer i stay clean the less i know about the will of my HIGHER POWER for me. i used to cringe when i heard an old timer say that, and want to go up to them after the meeting and ask what they really meant by that glib little bon mot. and a few times i got up the nerve to actually approach one of those paragons of recovery and ask. most of the time the answer i got was similar to what the reading says, that knowing what is what, had grown less important and feeling had become the manner in which GOD’s will was expressed to them. the one truly in depth answer i got, spun my head around and after i finished my linda blair impersonation, i started to have a glimmer of what this whole will thing was about. what that member told me was that it was not that he actually knew less about what GOD was and what GOD’s will was, it was that the member no longer needed to be watching for signs of the nature of that will to be expressed in the world that surrounded him. GOD’s will was always the easier, softer path in the long run and finding that will was as simple as opening his eyes in the morning, saying a quick prayer and moving forward into his day. no heavenly trumpets or choirs of ethereal voices, no burning bushes, no songs on the radios nor ant cryptic dreams. that stuff is gravy what really stuck-out for me was the member told me that once he stopped consciously seeking the will of GOD, it was actually revealed to him, and he knew in his heart of hearts what the next right thing was.
so for me, it is true i know less of what GOD’s will is for me than ever before, BUT i hear and see it expressed as the events of my day unfold around me. and i certainly know when i am acting out on my will. when i am in my will nothing goes right, let me restate that, nothing goes as i planned it to go without a great deal of additional effort on my part. so off to the polls to cast my vote and leave the results up to thew collective conscience of those other citizens who happen to choose to vote today!

∞ DT ∞