Blog entry for:
Tue, Jan 2, 2007 09:56:52 AM
Α if i am not careful, i may find myself dealing with the difficulties of daily living... Ω
posted: Tue, Jan 2, 2007 09:56:52 AM
by bullying my way through each problem or grinding my teeth while giving myself a stern lecture about how i should handle them.
exactly what else is there to do, after all my self-will is the only will i can truly count on is it not? well not actually, self-will may seem to feel like the only sure way to get things to happen, however the reading this morning suggests another way -- reliance on the will of a POWER GREATER THAN ME! my experience has been that self-will only carries me so far, and most of the time the results may appear to be what i always wanted, but when i look at the situation from a rational and calmer view point, i discover that there is yet another mess i have to go back and clean-up. so pausing when frustrated, taking a breath and saying a quick prayer -- foxhole type or not -- is probably no is definitely a valid suggestion for this addict. impulsive acts and behaviors got me and still continue to get me into untenable situations.
not only do i suffer from the disease of addiction, i also seem to suffer from selective dementia. i forget or twist the memory of what happens when i bully my way through the day to day frustrations of living, and when presented with a situation that does not meet my immediate approval, my first reaction is to rely on self, once again. it is almost as if i never have relied on any power greater than me or that i am once again back in the same spiritual boat as when i got here, smirking at the ides of anything beyond my senses. when i do follow the breathe and pray suggestion, i am amazed that i even considered doing so, even though that is becoming my default manner of handling life, slowly and surely.
so what do i take from this bit of pondering the daily reading? well for one thing, my first reaction to any frustrating situation is probably not the most correct and that i need a moment to truly consider my next action. running my life on anger and in a reactive mode is not the best way for this addict to live today, after all, it is one day at a time program and all i have is right now to do my best to live by the suggestions that have got me this far.
exactly what else is there to do, after all my self-will is the only will i can truly count on is it not? well not actually, self-will may seem to feel like the only sure way to get things to happen, however the reading this morning suggests another way -- reliance on the will of a POWER GREATER THAN ME! my experience has been that self-will only carries me so far, and most of the time the results may appear to be what i always wanted, but when i look at the situation from a rational and calmer view point, i discover that there is yet another mess i have to go back and clean-up. so pausing when frustrated, taking a breath and saying a quick prayer -- foxhole type or not -- is probably no is definitely a valid suggestion for this addict. impulsive acts and behaviors got me and still continue to get me into untenable situations.
not only do i suffer from the disease of addiction, i also seem to suffer from selective dementia. i forget or twist the memory of what happens when i bully my way through the day to day frustrations of living, and when presented with a situation that does not meet my immediate approval, my first reaction is to rely on self, once again. it is almost as if i never have relied on any power greater than me or that i am once again back in the same spiritual boat as when i got here, smirking at the ides of anything beyond my senses. when i do follow the breathe and pray suggestion, i am amazed that i even considered doing so, even though that is becoming my default manner of handling life, slowly and surely.
so what do i take from this bit of pondering the daily reading? well for one thing, my first reaction to any frustrating situation is probably not the most correct and that i need a moment to truly consider my next action. running my life on anger and in a reactive mode is not the best way for this addict to live today, after all, it is one day at a time program and all i have is right now to do my best to live by the suggestions that have got me this far.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
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☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 2
1) (It is the way of the Tao) to act without (thinking of) acting;
to conduct affairs without (feeling the) trouble of them; to taste
without discerning any flavour; to consider what is small as great,
and a few as many; and to recompense injury with kindness.