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the reading this morning echoed a theme that has been going on in my head for the past week -- what exactly is my part in this ‘ship?’ one week ago i aggressively expressed myself, tromped over a friend's feelings and hurt her deeply. could i have done things differently? of course i could have and will strive to in the future. was the event unavoidable? probably not, sooner or later i was bound to hurt her and not be able to live up to her expectations. it is just who i am, " another work in progress." am i willing to start over and rebuild the relationship i cavalierly damaged? without a doubt. i feel a part of me is missing and that part was that friendship.
of course i have to do things right and wait for the sting of my actions to soften before even attempting to repair that friendship. there is no guarantee that she even wants to let me do what i need to repair that friendship. so today, i have to accept that this is the way things are for now and be okay with what is missing from my life. and you know, today i can do that.
∞ DT ∞