ฮฑ finding balance in recovery is quite a bit like... ฯ
Posted: Fri, May 11, 2007 08:09:00 AM
sitting down with a set of scales and a pile of sand.
and of course the goal is to achieve a perfect balance and to do it right the first time. after all, i have more than a few days in recovery and i should be able to balance all the elements in my life: work, family, significant other, friends, sponsees, service, meetings, and last and always least time for me to just relax. so my scales look like some sort of octopus or insect and achieving balance is is quite an act. sometimes it feels as if i am juggling rather than adding weight to my scales, and it feels like i am about to drop all my balls, pun intended!
today is a case in point. i got up way too early, i have been working since 5:30 to finish what i could not get done over the past couple of days, all so i can fly to Lincoln, NE to participate in service on Mother’s day weekend. i will not even get into what activities i am missing as part of my commitment to service, just because i cannot read a calender. and i could fill volumes about how i have yet to achieve the sort of balance i would like to have. suffice it to say that i am still learning and doing my level best to adjust those twisted scales on the fly. there are days when i feel like pitching the whole thing and starting from scratch. no not using, rather quit everything and start all of my life in recovery over again. however our literature does say if it is not a practical solution it is hardly a spiritual solution. so what that implies is the solution to my problem of an unbalanced life is to just take a breath, slow down and do what i can to readjust the scales on grain of time at a time.
does acceptance of that little fact make me happy. by no means BUT it does make my the lack of balance in my life a bit more tolerable. tolerable is better than nothing -- and no this is not one of those glass of water half full dilemmas, rather i am grateful that the glass has any water in it at all.
and of course the goal is to achieve a perfect balance and to do it right the first time. after all, i have more than a few days in recovery and i should be able to balance all the elements in my life: work, family, significant other, friends, sponsees, service, meetings, and last and always least time for me to just relax. so my scales look like some sort of octopus or insect and achieving balance is is quite an act. sometimes it feels as if i am juggling rather than adding weight to my scales, and it feels like i am about to drop all my balls, pun intended!
today is a case in point. i got up way too early, i have been working since 5:30 to finish what i could not get done over the past couple of days, all so i can fly to Lincoln, NE to participate in service on Mother’s day weekend. i will not even get into what activities i am missing as part of my commitment to service, just because i cannot read a calender. and i could fill volumes about how i have yet to achieve the sort of balance i would like to have. suffice it to say that i am still learning and doing my level best to adjust those twisted scales on the fly. there are days when i feel like pitching the whole thing and starting from scratch. no not using, rather quit everything and start all of my life in recovery over again. however our literature does say if it is not a practical solution it is hardly a spiritual solution. so what that implies is the solution to my problem of an unbalanced life is to just take a breath, slow down and do what i can to readjust the scales on grain of time at a time.
does acceptance of that little fact make me happy. by no means BUT it does make my the lack of balance in my life a bit more tolerable. tolerable is better than nothing -- and no this is not one of those glass of water half full dilemmas, rather i am grateful that the glass has any water in it at all.
∞ DT ∞