ฮฑ but the more regularly i attend i meetings, the more i reinforce my identity ฯ
Posted: Thu, Sep 6, 2007 08:38:57 AM
as a recovering addict. And each meeting helps put me that much further from becoming a using addict again.
and truthfully, the last thing i want, at least today is to become a using addict again. life in recovery has been good for and the world in which i live, i am not talking about the material success, of which i have had a bit of along this path, no what i am grateful for is the spiritual and emotional success i have had. i would love to say that this entire process has been easy, that would be a bold face lie. recovery has been tough and painful for me, nevertheless, the alternatives are still unacceptable to me. what are the alternative you may ask? well as i see it there are two. the first being miserable but abstinent. i have seen many of my peers live this sort of life, and it was my impression that white-knuckling it was actually harder and more painful than living a program of recovery. the second is to just pitch the whole recovery gig, try to use socially and see what happens. i have also had the dubious honor of seeing what happens in this scenario, and once again it is not to my taste today. so lacking any better alternative for living, i guess living in recovery is the best option for me today. so that implies that i have to do certain things, in fact i have to do what worked when i first was struggling to get clean and accept recovery, and one of those actions was to attend meetings on a regular basis.
so if i want to continue to get what i have been getting than i need to do what i have always done. i have been through a phase where meetings just plain sucked for me. and even though i did not want to go to them, i still did, because somewhere i heard and remembered one of those trite little clichés that are ever present in the rooms namely, "meeting makers make it."
so off to face my responsibilities and see what i can accomplish today, and making a meeting is not part of the plan of this day, i have to sit down and work over my sixth step with my sponsor. there are a few concessions i need to make to the world around me.
and truthfully, the last thing i want, at least today is to become a using addict again. life in recovery has been good for and the world in which i live, i am not talking about the material success, of which i have had a bit of along this path, no what i am grateful for is the spiritual and emotional success i have had. i would love to say that this entire process has been easy, that would be a bold face lie. recovery has been tough and painful for me, nevertheless, the alternatives are still unacceptable to me. what are the alternative you may ask? well as i see it there are two. the first being miserable but abstinent. i have seen many of my peers live this sort of life, and it was my impression that white-knuckling it was actually harder and more painful than living a program of recovery. the second is to just pitch the whole recovery gig, try to use socially and see what happens. i have also had the dubious honor of seeing what happens in this scenario, and once again it is not to my taste today. so lacking any better alternative for living, i guess living in recovery is the best option for me today. so that implies that i have to do certain things, in fact i have to do what worked when i first was struggling to get clean and accept recovery, and one of those actions was to attend meetings on a regular basis.
so if i want to continue to get what i have been getting than i need to do what i have always done. i have been through a phase where meetings just plain sucked for me. and even though i did not want to go to them, i still did, because somewhere i heard and remembered one of those trite little clichés that are ever present in the rooms namely, "meeting makers make it."
so off to face my responsibilities and see what i can accomplish today, and making a meeting is not part of the plan of this day, i have to sit down and work over my sixth step with my sponsor. there are a few concessions i need to make to the world around me.
∞ DT ∞