โ regardless of how long i have been clean, i never stop being an addict โ
Posted: Wed, Sep 6, 2006 07:54:19 AM
true, i probably will not immediately start using mass quantities of drugs if i miss my meetings for a few days. But the more regularly i attend meetings, the more i reinforce my identity as a recovering addict.
and after all that is what it is all about, at least for me, my memory of what it was like to be in active addiction becomes dimmer and seemingly less relevant over time. i need to be reminded of the desperation of early recovery. i need to be reminded that i am only a small piece of self-will away from using again and i need to be reminded of how this whole recovery gig is done. the part of me that i call the disease of addiction is always working to take me away from the gifts i have received as a result of that daily regimen of meeting attendance way back when. i do not think that i need to do an annual thirty meetings in thirty days cycle, or sixty meetings in sixty days BUT when i am feeling out of sorts and detached a meeting does help bring me back into the real world. meetings are where i get to practice my new skills. meetings connect me to other recovering addicts and most of all meetings are where i get to see my character defects come out.
lots of gifts and now it is time to move on with my responsibilities and pay the bills. perhaps i will write more later.
and after all that is what it is all about, at least for me, my memory of what it was like to be in active addiction becomes dimmer and seemingly less relevant over time. i need to be reminded of the desperation of early recovery. i need to be reminded that i am only a small piece of self-will away from using again and i need to be reminded of how this whole recovery gig is done. the part of me that i call the disease of addiction is always working to take me away from the gifts i have received as a result of that daily regimen of meeting attendance way back when. i do not think that i need to do an annual thirty meetings in thirty days cycle, or sixty meetings in sixty days BUT when i am feeling out of sorts and detached a meeting does help bring me back into the real world. meetings are where i get to practice my new skills. meetings connect me to other recovering addicts and most of all meetings are where i get to see my character defects come out.
lots of gifts and now it is time to move on with my responsibilities and pay the bills. perhaps i will write more later.
∞ DT ∞