โ the principle of selflessness does a lot more than just make me feel better -- it helps me live better. โ
Posted: Tue, Dec 25, 2007 10:05:03 AM
my ideas of how the world should be run begin to lose their importance, i abandon my **know-it-all** pretensions and start treating others with respect.
losing myself, it has been one of my great fears, nothing in the program seems to directly say that is the case and the word selflessness seems to be a state of being without identity, however the acuual definition has nothing to do with losing my sense of self. but in losing a whole lot of other baggage, baggage, like self-entitlement, self-importance and selfishness. such a wonderful set of self to be carrying around and a load that is not easy for me to handle. and yet to discard this old familiar garbage also seems like to much of an effort. after all, if all of that is left by the roadside, what will be left of me? honestly, what will be left will look more like the person i have always wanted to be, and less like the person warped by active addiction.
so anyhow, this little ditty on Christmas day should not be without a modicum of something more. some salacious juicy detail? something amazingly embarrassing from my life in active addiction? or how about a tantalizing tidbit from my life in recovery?
well actually none of that, just a wish for a pleasant holiday season and the hope that tomorrow will be a brighter day than today. i have FAITH that the latter will hold true for this particular addict, as long as i choose to stay clean one more day.
well time to get off the computer and get back to being part of this holiday.
losing myself, it has been one of my great fears, nothing in the program seems to directly say that is the case and the word selflessness seems to be a state of being without identity, however the acuual definition has nothing to do with losing my sense of self. but in losing a whole lot of other baggage, baggage, like self-entitlement, self-importance and selfishness. such a wonderful set of self to be carrying around and a load that is not easy for me to handle. and yet to discard this old familiar garbage also seems like to much of an effort. after all, if all of that is left by the roadside, what will be left of me? honestly, what will be left will look more like the person i have always wanted to be, and less like the person warped by active addiction.
so anyhow, this little ditty on Christmas day should not be without a modicum of something more. some salacious juicy detail? something amazingly embarrassing from my life in active addiction? or how about a tantalizing tidbit from my life in recovery?
well actually none of that, just a wish for a pleasant holiday season and the hope that tomorrow will be a brighter day than today. i have FAITH that the latter will hold true for this particular addict, as long as i choose to stay clean one more day.
well time to get off the computer and get back to being part of this holiday.
∞ DT ∞