๐ด more than ๐ถ
Posted: Tue, Dec 25, 2018 09:48:14 AM
just me, my name, myself -- anonymity leads me to a state of being that transcends all that i have ever been. MERRY CHRISTMAS to all and to all a good day, to paraphrase a poem all about this day.
when i consider being anonymous or nameless, as it were, i often wonder what that really means. i got no clues about that as i sat this morning, but what i did “hear” is that self-will, leads me to a place that is far from being anything close to anonymous. what i seem to have always DESIRED is to be BIGGER than life, to outshine everyone else, at least in some aspect of my walk through this life. the tension between what i DESIRE and what i need is the root of most of the angst i feel in my day-to-day existence. the reading this morning reminds me that the choice is mine, and it is one i can make without coercion or outside influence. in fact, for it to be honest, it has to come from me
one may argue, rightfully so, that this little dump of what is on my mind, violates the spirit and the letter of being anonymous. by posting my thoughts on a daily basis, i am actually cratering to my DESIRE to be BIGGER and BETTER. following that line of reasoning, i therefore should give up this exercise, no matter how helpful it is for me, delete the corpus of what i have written and retreat from the interwebs completely. one could certainly see that would allow oneself to return to a state of being nameless. as tempting as that may be, for this addict, pounding this out and posting it does more than make me standout. it gives me a history of where i have been and certainly a means to be accountable to those who happen to peruse my musings on any sort of periodic basis. i have no illusions that what i write here is earth-shattering or ground-breaking, there really is nothing new under the sun. have to admit, i was surprised when i saw the source of that idiom and almost chose not to link to that reference. there is a symptom of growth as i even went looking for a more secular source.
i need to get some steps in, dealing with the stress of the next twelve hours will require a bit of pre-loading of stress relief activities, as i want to help make this day as angst-free as i can, for myself and for all those who i will be spending time with today. so it is off to the great expanses of concrete and asphalt that is my home town, to empty my mind, exercise my body and allow the dawg some time to do her thang as well.
when i consider being anonymous or nameless, as it were, i often wonder what that really means. i got no clues about that as i sat this morning, but what i did “hear” is that self-will, leads me to a place that is far from being anything close to anonymous. what i seem to have always DESIRED is to be BIGGER than life, to outshine everyone else, at least in some aspect of my walk through this life. the tension between what i DESIRE and what i need is the root of most of the angst i feel in my day-to-day existence. the reading this morning reminds me that the choice is mine, and it is one i can make without coercion or outside influence. in fact, for it to be honest, it has to come from me
one may argue, rightfully so, that this little dump of what is on my mind, violates the spirit and the letter of being anonymous. by posting my thoughts on a daily basis, i am actually cratering to my DESIRE to be BIGGER and BETTER. following that line of reasoning, i therefore should give up this exercise, no matter how helpful it is for me, delete the corpus of what i have written and retreat from the interwebs completely. one could certainly see that would allow oneself to return to a state of being nameless. as tempting as that may be, for this addict, pounding this out and posting it does more than make me standout. it gives me a history of where i have been and certainly a means to be accountable to those who happen to peruse my musings on any sort of periodic basis. i have no illusions that what i write here is earth-shattering or ground-breaking, there really is nothing new under the sun. have to admit, i was surprised when i saw the source of that idiom and almost chose not to link to that reference. there is a symptom of growth as i even went looking for a more secular source.
i need to get some steps in, dealing with the stress of the next twelve hours will require a bit of pre-loading of stress relief activities, as i want to help make this day as angst-free as i can, for myself and for all those who i will be spending time with today. so it is off to the great expanses of concrete and asphalt that is my home town, to empty my mind, exercise my body and allow the dawg some time to do her thang as well.
∞ DT ∞