Blog entry for:

i need to remember my own powerlessness and accept the will of a Power greater than myself. that will this morning was to get up much earlier than i wanted to and get going. yes i know what day of the week it is, and yes i know that i do not have any pressing concerns, but be that as it may, i was still out of my nice warm bed by six-thirty in the AM and have already finished my first piece of work for today. so it goes…
so what does this topic bring to my mind? well one thing i have already written about as infinitum is the partnership i have been fostering with my concept of a HIGHER POWER from day one. or i could write about how my belief system has been systematically destroyed and recreated across the course of my recovery, and once again that would be a rehash. so what really struck me was the whole thing about who has power and who is without power, in this relationship. after all, when i sat down with a sponsee yesterday, our entire conversation, while framed by the SECOND STEP was a conversation about power, powerlessness, and how responding in the manner with which we are accustomed is probably not the most spiritual path to take.
framing the events of this morning in that context, i realize that i was powerless to sleep any longer, was that the will of a POWER GREATER THAN ME, well possibly, or it was just my biological clock ticking so loudly i just had to get up. it really does not matter what the driving force behind my inability to sleep in was, i accept that i was powerless in that situation but instead of tossing and turning and trying to sleep, that acceptance led to me getting up and getting busy. i have discovered that the will of the POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN AND PROVIDES FOR ALL MY NEEDS is not always expressed overtly, in fact most of the time it is so subtle that unless i am looking for it, i totally miss it. that is why for this addict the whole 11th Step is a necessary part of my every day routine, even on days like today when i had trouble settling in and doing it. well the day is young and perhaps now i can come back to my meditation and see what is being told to me. i am willing to do my part in this relationship, at least i am today!

∞ DT ∞