Blog entry for:
Tue, Dec 2, 2008 09:12:50 AM
α i have to attend meetings, work the steps, call my sponsor, and be of service to God and others. ω
posted: Tue, Dec 2, 2008 09:12:50 AM
recovery is the foundation of my life, making everything else possible.
so i woke up at three forty-five this morning obsessed with a member and doing service. i tossed and turned for nearly an hour before i finally remembered a tool i had, and what a tool i was being, and surrendered that obsession into the care of my HIGHER POWER. amazing, i then slept fine for another hour and a half. what does this have to do with recovery being the foundation. well, for one, one of the simple things that got me clean and kept me clean in those early days of recovery was the ability to surrender my obsession to use, into the care of a POWER GREATER THAN ME, and i do not mean a member with more time than me. as i was tossing and turning, i was struck by the absurdity of allowing someone to have power over whether or not i could sleep, and as i grew more and more angry at that person, i found myself thinking about what i could do to get back at them. well surrendering to my HIGHER POWER was all that i could finally come up with, and amazing it worked it a very few minutes.
anyhow, as i sit here on the back-end of of my silly behavior, i am beginning to realize, that i have started to let my priorities slip. it really is not all about me, and whether or not i feel respected. and appreciated, or demeaned and used is irrelevant as to whether i can stay clean and recover. it is what it is, and i am still an addict suffering the slings and arrows of addiction. as such, i can either try and battle it on my own, with self-will and grit, or i can surrender the the principles of the program that allows me to stay clean and recover and let go of my expectations of others.
BTW, i did not pray to fall back asleep.
but i digress.
so what is my task today? well for one i can remember what the member who came back from a relapse last week told me, and learn to live as a vision of HOPE, or i can dwell in the darkness of my bruised feelings and retribution for perceived slights. that choice is mine and mine alone, and today i will do my best to live as a vision of HOPE and not as an object lesson about how i let the addict within control what i do across the course of my day.
it ia after all, a good day to be in recovery.
so i woke up at three forty-five this morning obsessed with a member and doing service. i tossed and turned for nearly an hour before i finally remembered a tool i had, and what a tool i was being, and surrendered that obsession into the care of my HIGHER POWER. amazing, i then slept fine for another hour and a half. what does this have to do with recovery being the foundation. well, for one, one of the simple things that got me clean and kept me clean in those early days of recovery was the ability to surrender my obsession to use, into the care of a POWER GREATER THAN ME, and i do not mean a member with more time than me. as i was tossing and turning, i was struck by the absurdity of allowing someone to have power over whether or not i could sleep, and as i grew more and more angry at that person, i found myself thinking about what i could do to get back at them. well surrendering to my HIGHER POWER was all that i could finally come up with, and amazing it worked it a very few minutes.
anyhow, as i sit here on the back-end of of my silly behavior, i am beginning to realize, that i have started to let my priorities slip. it really is not all about me, and whether or not i feel respected. and appreciated, or demeaned and used is irrelevant as to whether i can stay clean and recover. it is what it is, and i am still an addict suffering the slings and arrows of addiction. as such, i can either try and battle it on my own, with self-will and grit, or i can surrender the the principles of the program that allows me to stay clean and recover and let go of my expectations of others.
BTW, i did not pray to fall back asleep.
but i digress.
so what is my task today? well for one i can remember what the member who came back from a relapse last week told me, and learn to live as a vision of HOPE, or i can dwell in the darkness of my bruised feelings and retribution for perceived slights. that choice is mine and mine alone, and today i will do my best to live as a vision of HOPE and not as an object lesson about how i let the addict within control what i do across the course of my day.
it ia after all, a good day to be in recovery.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
∞ priorities ∞ 226 words ➥ Thursday, December 2, 2004 by: donnotα priorities and my life ω 429 words ➥ Friday, December 2, 2005 by: donnot
↔ my recovery must come first. job or no job, relationship or no relationship, ↔ 438 words ➥ Saturday, December 2, 2006 by: donnot
α i may be subject to using excuses for not attending meetings and being of service ω 591 words ➥ Sunday, December 2, 2007 by: donnot
Θ before coming to recovery, i used many excuses to justify my use of drugs Θ 548 words ➥ Wednesday, December 2, 2009 by: donnot
¢ i have to KEEP my recovery first and my priorities in order ¢ 569 words ➥ Thursday, December 2, 2010 by: donnot
¡ recovery is the foundation of my LIFE, making everything else possible ! 555 words ➥ Friday, December 2, 2011 by: donnot
± job or no job, relationship or no relationship ± 643 words ➥ Sunday, December 2, 2012 by: donnot
µ if i do not make recovery my first priority, chances are that µ 622 words ➥ Monday, December 2, 2013 by: donnot
∅ only when i make recovery my first priority ∅ 817 words ➥ Tuesday, December 2, 2014 by: donnot
✔ recovery : 718 words ➥ Wednesday, December 2, 2015 by: donnot
❕ using a myriad ❗ 610 words ➥ Friday, December 2, 2016 by: donnot
🏰 the foundation 🏯 432 words ➥ Saturday, December 2, 2017 by: donnot
🏠 the simple actions 🏡 725 words ➥ Sunday, December 2, 2018 by: donnot
🤨 using excuses 🤮 548 words ➥ Monday, December 2, 2019 by: donnot
😒 using excuses 😉 415 words ➥ Wednesday, December 2, 2020 by: donnot
👋 justifying my path 👋 273 words ➥ Thursday, December 2, 2021 by: donnot
🥀 making 🧿 616 words ➥ Friday, December 2, 2022 by: donnot
🤔 accepting reality?! 🤔 380 words ➥ Saturday, December 2, 2023 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 1
1) The skilful masters (of the Tao) in old times, with a subtle and
exquisite penetration, comprehended its mysteries, and were deep (also)
so as to elude men's knowledge. As they were thus beyond men's knowledge,
I will make an effort to describe of what sort they appeared to be.