Blog entry for:

this is a topic that often creates a great deal of confusion for me. the way i was feeling yesterday was GOD's will for me at that time, i believe i needed to feel the 1st step changes as i started writing, my will was to do everything i possibly could to avoid feeling the way i was. the astounding thing is that this morning i feel in touch with both myself and the world around me. instead of stopping the process, i decided last night that the only way i could get out of where i was, was to continue writing my step work. after an afternoon of lazing around and then a meeting with one of the men i have the opportunity to sponsor i continued what felt like the burdensome task of writing out questions about step 1. i realize today that decision was not only correct but was an expression of living in GOD's will.
the simple test suggested in the reading this morning of examining whose will it truly is is a very powerful tool. i know today that if i choose to exercise my will and resist the process i will not be living in harmony with the world around me. today i am once again feeling connected with both GOD and the world around me. that does not mean that i get to stop here and relax, i take it to mean that i am on the right(write) path and need to continue with the diligence i have shown over the past couple of nights. i know doing a task, two nights in a row does not constitute a major paradigm shift, but it does allow me to battle the insidious voice of my disease that i am less than worthy to continue and get another chance at recovery today. and for me that is reward enough!
&infin DT ∞