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and meetings that once had been a thrill became monotonous. the thirty day wonder reading, not necessarily who i am today, but a bugaboo that haunts me from time to time. yes, staying clean by doing the same stuff every day, does become tedious, especially the meeting part. seriously, how many times can i hear the same people share the same old bumper stickers, slogans and bromides, without retching. for me, there are times when familiarity does breed contempt. of course, those are the times, when i NEED to close association with my fellow addicts, especially those who are living the program. what do usually do? whine to my sponsor of course, and he always replies that keeping my recovery fresh, is my job.
so what do i do? i keep going to meetings, i practice active listening, and i work on myself, because it is not their problem that i find issues with the program and my fellow addicts, it is <SIGH> mine.
as i sit here this morning working over a computer that has a rootkit running, i hear the denial of owner of the computer, all i do on that machine is what i need to do to do my job, and yet, there is a virus installed on the machine. must have jumped across from no where, when no one was looking and doing nothing at all. i sympathize, because i have said something similar, when it comes to feeling crappy and bored with my recovery. it is me who is doing what i ought not be doing, most of the time, it is indulging in self-will run riot, that however was just for yesterday, today i am working on doing the next right thing and seeing how i can keep my life and my recovery fresh, after all, after 5500 days in a row, who wants to be a thirty day wonder? NOT ME!

∞ DT ∞