ฮจ i will make the most of my love for those in my life today ฮจ
Posted: Tue, Aug 20, 2013 09:34:03 AM
warning Will Robinson, there may be a few daises, rainbows, and overused catch phrases ahead, and yes this may even get maudlin. okay, you have been warned!
the reading was about dealing with the strong feelings, that i may experience as life grinds on. grief and the grieving process, is certainly one of many of those. in my experience, i have tasted grief in recovery, starting from just over 60 days clean, and have found that the fellowship, as in my peers and friends in recovery, are the rock i needed to stay clean, face my feelings and continue the journey. as i age, unfortunately so do my parents, siblings and friends. although death can strike suddenly and without warning as it did for my friends Carrie S, most of the time, however, there is warning enough to steel myself against the inevitable. even that is not enough, at least for me. as much as a blessing the final end may be for somebody else, for me, the person they leave behind, i have to deal with the emptiness of that part of me, that is no longer present. honestly, those feelings suck! no two around that. as awful as they are, i have not yet died from them, and in most cases, i get to move one and be stronger in my life and program today.
the nice part, is after the grief fades, and that is all it does, at least for me, i can appreciate those who are here in my life today. the gift of relationships and my ability to do them better, is one that recovery keeps on giving. today i choose to allow myself the freedom to love unconditionally and not worry about when i will feel the pain of loss, hence the seed i chose to get this whole gig rolling this morning. today i can be present for those who are a part of my life today and allow myself the feel what i need to feel and recover. today, well today i have to get back to work and accomplish a task or two, so at the risk of being abrupt, it is a good today to be on this side of the grass and clean.
the reading was about dealing with the strong feelings, that i may experience as life grinds on. grief and the grieving process, is certainly one of many of those. in my experience, i have tasted grief in recovery, starting from just over 60 days clean, and have found that the fellowship, as in my peers and friends in recovery, are the rock i needed to stay clean, face my feelings and continue the journey. as i age, unfortunately so do my parents, siblings and friends. although death can strike suddenly and without warning as it did for my friends Carrie S, most of the time, however, there is warning enough to steel myself against the inevitable. even that is not enough, at least for me. as much as a blessing the final end may be for somebody else, for me, the person they leave behind, i have to deal with the emptiness of that part of me, that is no longer present. honestly, those feelings suck! no two around that. as awful as they are, i have not yet died from them, and in most cases, i get to move one and be stronger in my life and program today.
the nice part, is after the grief fades, and that is all it does, at least for me, i can appreciate those who are here in my life today. the gift of relationships and my ability to do them better, is one that recovery keeps on giving. today i choose to allow myself the freedom to love unconditionally and not worry about when i will feel the pain of loss, hence the seed i chose to get this whole gig rolling this morning. today i can be present for those who are a part of my life today and allow myself the feel what i need to feel and recover. today, well today i have to get back to work and accomplish a task or two, so at the risk of being abrupt, it is a good today to be on this side of the grass and clean.
∞ DT ∞