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ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! sing it again.
well maybe not, but for the past few years, every time i come across this reading that song has been ringing in my head, so finally i succumbed to the temptation and used the lyric as my seed.
pain, like war, has its place. trust me i am not advocating for war or have not suddenly become a hawk, and i will leave that analogy by the roadside as i move forward in my morning.
the reading plainly states why pain is not only a part of being human, but an integral part of being healthy. yes, physical pain, is the signal i am doing something wrong, such as leaving my hand on the stove burner to test how hot it will get. emotional pain? well, life in active addiction had the very desirable side-effect of numbing most of that away and as i walked forward in recovery, especially in those early days, i hardly thought i would ever be able to survive that pain. i did, and what living through that pain gave me was a very healthy respect for one of the consequences of relapse. i NEVER want to feel that pain again, so my choices are severely constrained, don't use and live a program of active recovery OR use and don't come back. as much as i admire those who walk into the rooms after a relapse, and i do as i feel that shows more courage than i have, i do NOT believe that i have the ability to be on of them. for me, i do not believe i have another recovery ;left on the books, so i make the most of the one i already have. the pain i feel, in my everyday life is transitory as a result and always passes. each day i stay clean, is yet another chance to b that much closer to being the man i have always wanted to be, and pain, as undesirable as i may think it is, is part of the crucible that s forging that man. pain, is an indication that i am alive, i am awake and i am present for what is going on in my life. sure i would love to be a lotus eater, but i have already been there done that and got the T-shirt, so this recovery gig is certainly the easier after way for me today. which also means it is time for me to head on over to Boulder,as i have discovered, i really do not get something for nothig and my free lunch has yet to arrive…

∞ DT ∞