Blog entry for:
Fri, Jul 16, 2004 05:13:57 AM
self-worth: an inside job
posted: Fri, Jul 16, 2004 05:13:57 AM
I DO DESERVE THE LOVE AND CARE OF A HIGHER POWER
i often forget this simple fact. self-worth does not come easy for me. i feel the need to act as if i am "better than" because i often feel "less than."
although i have been at this for some time, there are still times when i tell myself that life on life's terms today is payback for who i was. nothing has changed, i am still the low-life i was when i came around and when i hit a speed bump i once again have the evidence that i deserve nothing because i am not worthwhile.
right now i know this is a lie, and i am a worthy person in my own right without anyone telling me. when i am seeking outside validation, i am looking for someone or something to enable me to once again feel less than.
the loving GOD in my life does not punish or judge me and my behaviors, but that GOD is not Santa Clause either.
if i want to continue to recover i must do the work, if i am broke i need to find a better job or spend less, if i am lonely then i need to get out of my house and participate in life and when i am feeling unloved and unaccepted i need to work on learning to love and respect myself.
the external signs of success just that, external. the true measure of my success on a daily basis is whether i am clean today, did i truly do my best to be present in my life, did i recognize the opportunities that were presented and act on them or did i just sit on my pity pot waiting for the next GOOD thing top happen and whine about it when once again i did not get my WANTS fulfilled.
anyhow just for today i believe i am a worthy person, deserving of the loving care provided by GOD.
-- DT --
i often forget this simple fact. self-worth does not come easy for me. i feel the need to act as if i am "better than" because i often feel "less than."
although i have been at this for some time, there are still times when i tell myself that life on life's terms today is payback for who i was. nothing has changed, i am still the low-life i was when i came around and when i hit a speed bump i once again have the evidence that i deserve nothing because i am not worthwhile.
right now i know this is a lie, and i am a worthy person in my own right without anyone telling me. when i am seeking outside validation, i am looking for someone or something to enable me to once again feel less than.
the loving GOD in my life does not punish or judge me and my behaviors, but that GOD is not Santa Clause either.
if i want to continue to recover i must do the work, if i am broke i need to find a better job or spend less, if i am lonely then i need to get out of my house and participate in life and when i am feeling unloved and unaccepted i need to work on learning to love and respect myself.
the external signs of success just that, external. the true measure of my success on a daily basis is whether i am clean today, did i truly do my best to be present in my life, did i recognize the opportunities that were presented and act on them or did i just sit on my pity pot waiting for the next GOOD thing top happen and whine about it when once again i did not get my WANTS fulfilled.
anyhow just for today i believe i am a worthy person, deserving of the loving care provided by GOD.
-- DT --
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
μ coming to believe μ 184 words ➥ Saturday, July 16, 2005 by: donnot∞ with the help of other members who share our same feelings, and by working the twelve steps ∞ 419 words ➥ Sunday, July 16, 2006 by: donnot
∞ low self-esteem does not go away overnight. ∞ 431 words ➥ Monday, July 16, 2007 by: donnot
∞ somewhere along the way, i developed strong feelings of inadequacy and inferiority. ∞ 410 words ➥ Wednesday, July 16, 2008 by: donnot
μ i learned to recognize low self-esteem early in my recovery μ 548 words ➥ Thursday, July 16, 2009 by: donnot
ℵ whether i learned low self-esteem in my family or through my interactions with others ℵ 437 words ➥ Friday, July 16, 2010 by: donnot
∃ deep inside, i had feelings of inadequacy and inferiority ∃ 537 words ➥ Saturday, July 16, 2011 by: donnot
♥ i remember that i deserve everything that ♥ 416 words ➥ Monday, July 16, 2012 by: donnot
⇑ by working the Twelve Steps, i can become the sort of individual ⇑ 619 words ➥ Tuesday, July 16, 2013 by: donnot
¡ i sometimes feel that my feelings of inferiority ! 613 words ➥ Wednesday, July 16, 2014 by: donnot
℘ i know that ℘ 609 words ➥ Thursday, July 16, 2015 by: donnot
⪡ whom others and, ⪢ 810 words ➥ Saturday, July 16, 2016 by: donnot
🏲 feelings of 🏱 491 words ➥ Sunday, July 16, 2017 by: donnot
🍒 self-esteem, 🍒 347 words ➥ Monday, July 16, 2018 by: donnot
🕱 you are worthless 🕱 436 words ➥ Tuesday, July 16, 2019 by: donnot
🤬 reclaiming myself 🤬 464 words ➥ Thursday, July 16, 2020 by: donnot
🤐 deep inside 🤐 464 words ➥ Friday, July 16, 2021 by: donnot
💱 worthless 💱 358 words ➥ Saturday, July 16, 2022 by: donnot
🗣 listening 👂 568 words ➥ Sunday, July 16, 2023 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 1
2) (Conceived of as) having no name, it is the Originator of heaven
and earth; (conceived of as) having a name, it is the Mother of all
things.