Blog entry for:
Wed, Sep 13, 2017 07:42:26 AM
🍃 is knowledge 🍂
posted: Wed, Sep 13, 2017 07:42:26 AM
of a Higher Power that **something different,** i have been seeking forever?
]many of my peers, speak of having a GOD-shaped hole, which they tried to fill with substances in active addiction and a myriad of other things, since they got clean. i certainly get what they are saying and the reading this morning, certainly supports that notion.how do addicts such as myself approach this notion, when we follow a spiritual that that does not necessarily include GOD?
as i move deeper into the spiritual place i have found myself within, i often find myself looking for ways and means to separate myself from my peers. the whole notion of GOD, to one who is going in a different direction is the perfect foil. i can be spiritual as it want to be and still “different,” building a case against the local fellowship and my peers who are religious. that two edged-sword swings quite nicely to remove the chaff and chatter and i end up lonely, isolated and afraid.
most of what i am struggling with, as i sit here in Step One, is if i am doing my spiritual practice out of fear and superstition, what is left when i consciously decide to move along and adopt practices more closely aligned to my current spiritual path? what fills that hole, when GOD has been removed from the equation? i have already made the switch in my head to THE POWER THAT FUELS MY RECOVERY, but i am quite unsure where prayer fits into this new paradigm. do i pray twice a day out of superstitious fear, ritual routine or because i actually believe that it needs to be part of my spiritual practice? what i am discovering that the answer to that question is not the important thing here, it is the question itself. merely by exposing what it is that is eating at my spiritual insides, i GET the opportunity to where it is i am powerless and can make a conscious choice to find that something different, that i once believed was taken care of by consuming mass quantities of everything.
it is a good day to be clean and time to move along to my next stop of this day.
]many of my peers, speak of having a GOD-shaped hole, which they tried to fill with substances in active addiction and a myriad of other things, since they got clean. i certainly get what they are saying and the reading this morning, certainly supports that notion.how do addicts such as myself approach this notion, when we follow a spiritual that that does not necessarily include GOD?
as i move deeper into the spiritual place i have found myself within, i often find myself looking for ways and means to separate myself from my peers. the whole notion of GOD, to one who is going in a different direction is the perfect foil. i can be spiritual as it want to be and still “different,” building a case against the local fellowship and my peers who are religious. that two edged-sword swings quite nicely to remove the chaff and chatter and i end up lonely, isolated and afraid.
most of what i am struggling with, as i sit here in Step One, is if i am doing my spiritual practice out of fear and superstition, what is left when i consciously decide to move along and adopt practices more closely aligned to my current spiritual path? what fills that hole, when GOD has been removed from the equation? i have already made the switch in my head to THE POWER THAT FUELS MY RECOVERY, but i am quite unsure where prayer fits into this new paradigm. do i pray twice a day out of superstitious fear, ritual routine or because i actually believe that it needs to be part of my spiritual practice? what i am discovering that the answer to that question is not the important thing here, it is the question itself. merely by exposing what it is that is eating at my spiritual insides, i GET the opportunity to where it is i am powerless and can make a conscious choice to find that something different, that i once believed was taken care of by consuming mass quantities of everything.
it is a good day to be clean and time to move along to my next stop of this day.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
all jumbled up 456 words ➥ Monday, September 13, 2004 by: donnotα am i missing something? Ω 298 words ➥ Tuesday, September 13, 2005 by: donnot
Α today, i believe that my lifelong yearning was primarily for knowledge of a Higher Power Ω 442 words ➥ Wednesday, September 13, 2006 by: donnot
α when i was high, at least i no longer felt the emptiness or the need. ω 524 words ➥ Thursday, September 13, 2007 by: donnot
μ i searched all my life for something to make me all right … 364 words ➥ Saturday, September 13, 2008 by: donnot
λ i have always felt different from other people λ 653 words ➥ Sunday, September 13, 2009 by: donnot
“ i had to have something different, and i thought i had found it in drugs ” 929 words ➥ Monday, September 13, 2010 by: donnot
≈ once i gave up the drugs, the sense of emptiness returned ≈ 408 words ➥ Tuesday, September 13, 2011 by: donnot
† the POWER that fuels my recovery † 607 words ➥ Thursday, September 13, 2012 by: donnot
∅ the drugs, which were my solution, ∅ 755 words ➥ Saturday, September 13, 2014 by: donnot
‰ something different ‰ 554 words ➥ Sunday, September 13, 2015 by: donnot
∵ fixing that **different** ∴ 415 words ➥ Tuesday, September 13, 2016 by: donnot
🚪 searching for 🚧 597 words ➥ Thursday, September 13, 2018 by: donnot
🍲 restoring that 🍽 621 words ➥ Friday, September 13, 2019 by: donnot
🌌 feeling different 🌌 393 words ➥ Sunday, September 13, 2020 by: donnot
🛈 a lifelong yearning 🛈 547 words ➥ Monday, September 13, 2021 by: donnot
🎞 restoring a 🍱 409 words ➥ Tuesday, September 13, 2022 by: donnot
🙊 sincerity 🙊 563 words ➥ Wednesday, September 13, 2023 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 1
2) Therefore the sage puts his own person last, and yet it is found
in the foremost place; he treats his person as if it were foreign
to him, and yet that person is preserved. Is it not because he has
no personal and private ends, that therefore such ends are realised?