๐ฑ courting death ๐ฑ
Posted: Tue, Aug 27, 2019 07:29:06 AM
is no longer part of my every day routine. a quick tangent before i dig down: every time i read this reading i think of the video Wake Me Up Before You Go Go, by WHAM, because George Michael wore a T-shirt that had **Choose Life,** printed on it. today was no exception and it sort of, kind of fits with where i am going in this little exercise of putting down into words what i **feel** this morning.
i could of course go down the path that i often do about how terrible things were, way back when and how many things have yet to change in the here and now. today, however, that is not quite where i am as i made a CHOICE to expend a greater effort into my daily inventory, as a result of the reading yesterday. what came to me last night, and stuck with me this morning are the events that occurred after the meeting. i am not one to chase a newcomer down and start 12-stomping them. in fact, i am more than likely to be a spectator from a distance in the parade of newcomers that come in and out of the doors of my local fellowship. last night, after the meeting i was approached by a FNG, who was at his very first meeting, ever. the fact that he stopped me and asked “who was in charge and did he need to sign-up to attend meeting,” absolutely floored me. i took care of the bidness of getting some numbers and a meeting schedule for him and expected that would be as far as it went. instead, we ended up hanging out, with a couple more addicts, talking about what recovery meant to use. a twenty-something, a thirty-something,a fifty-something and a sixty-something, cracking up about what addiction means to us and the absurdity of our thought processes, when we finally got clean. i do not know if that was attractive to him, but he certainly “seemed” ready to give this gig a whirl.
the video and the “meeting after the meeting” last night, sort of go together in an odd and ironic sort of way. i know George Michael's message was all about a choice a man never really has to make. last night, someone came to a meeting because he decided that maybe he had a problem and i certainly hope that the conversation the four of us had last night was enough to get him to come back, so he too can have a choice, other than picking up yet again. i know that today i CHOOSE LIFE by admitting that i am an addict and seeking the power i need to stay clean from the POWER that fuels my recovery. that POWER gives me the desire to be more than i ever was and although my experience last night was one of the most profound ones i have had recently, i do not think i will be “looking” for a FNG to chase down and waylay before they march out of the rooms. no, i think i will accept that last night i GOT to carry a message and perhaps that message was one of HOPE and not one that chases someone away.
i could of course go down the path that i often do about how terrible things were, way back when and how many things have yet to change in the here and now. today, however, that is not quite where i am as i made a CHOICE to expend a greater effort into my daily inventory, as a result of the reading yesterday. what came to me last night, and stuck with me this morning are the events that occurred after the meeting. i am not one to chase a newcomer down and start 12-stomping them. in fact, i am more than likely to be a spectator from a distance in the parade of newcomers that come in and out of the doors of my local fellowship. last night, after the meeting i was approached by a FNG, who was at his very first meeting, ever. the fact that he stopped me and asked “who was in charge and did he need to sign-up to attend meeting,” absolutely floored me. i took care of the bidness of getting some numbers and a meeting schedule for him and expected that would be as far as it went. instead, we ended up hanging out, with a couple more addicts, talking about what recovery meant to use. a twenty-something, a thirty-something,a fifty-something and a sixty-something, cracking up about what addiction means to us and the absurdity of our thought processes, when we finally got clean. i do not know if that was attractive to him, but he certainly “seemed” ready to give this gig a whirl.
the video and the “meeting after the meeting” last night, sort of go together in an odd and ironic sort of way. i know George Michael's message was all about a choice a man never really has to make. last night, someone came to a meeting because he decided that maybe he had a problem and i certainly hope that the conversation the four of us had last night was enough to get him to come back, so he too can have a choice, other than picking up yet again. i know that today i CHOOSE LIFE by admitting that i am an addict and seeking the power i need to stay clean from the POWER that fuels my recovery. that POWER gives me the desire to be more than i ever was and although my experience last night was one of the most profound ones i have had recently, i do not think i will be “looking” for a FNG to chase down and waylay before they march out of the rooms. no, i think i will accept that last night i GOT to carry a message and perhaps that message was one of HOPE and not one that chases someone away.
∞ DT ∞