🤮 getting high 🤷
Posted: Thu, Jan 7, 2021 06:55:30 AM
and staying high was certainly my reason for being, for a very long time. as the number of days that i do this recovery gig, just for today, pile up, i am more than a bit grateful that being freed from active addiction allowed me to be so much more. i would like to be able to say that the chaos of the attempted coup by supporters of number 45 at his request, did not affect me, as it did so many others within my loved ones circle. i was upset enough to obsess on the news all afternoon yesterday and felt relief when Congress came back and finished their ceremonial duties. while number 45 bears most of the responsibility for that little fiasco, the enablers of his own political party, who quake at the perceived power of his minions and acolytes, need to own the fact that the blood is on their hands as well. the only thing this tinpot dictator seems to understand is inciting racist, misogynist violence. he certainly needs to be “schooled” with a plethora of consequences that precludes him from ever rising to political office again.
i was about to apologize for that little bit of political screed i just wrote, but in reality i am not sorry at all. this is my space to be who i am and although it may be out there for anyone to read, the time has come for me to stop apologizing for having opinions and expressing them. one of the gifts i have been given is the ability to be rational and engage in critical thinking. discerning unicorns, zebras or horses, is something i was taught to do, very early in life. just because someone in authority tells me that it is true and i can find one or more You-tube videos echoing the same pile of bullsh!t, does not make it true. when i came to recovery, my powers of reasoning and discerning reality from fantasy had allowed me to survive as a bottom-feeder for a very long time. those very same skills almost marched me out of the rooms, before i had a chance to see all the facts and evaluate the evidence that recovery actually worked for people like me. today, i KNOW that just because i do not like an outcome, it does not necessarily mean that the game was rigged from the start.
this morning, while my FAITH in the political process has not been fully restored, my FAITH in the recovery process is still intact. i am still clean after a days on days of angst over how my siblings and i are going to keep our parents in their home, my Dad's injury and his unwillingness to get up and eat something and of course the end of the war on science by big business cronies and proxies. once again, science does not require my belief to be true. ther world is not flat as evidenced by my own eyes as i personally watched a total eclipse of the sun and saw the curved shadow of the Earth mover across the face of the sun. and in the end, for this addict, recovery works, because i live it, just for today.
i was about to apologize for that little bit of political screed i just wrote, but in reality i am not sorry at all. this is my space to be who i am and although it may be out there for anyone to read, the time has come for me to stop apologizing for having opinions and expressing them. one of the gifts i have been given is the ability to be rational and engage in critical thinking. discerning unicorns, zebras or horses, is something i was taught to do, very early in life. just because someone in authority tells me that it is true and i can find one or more You-tube videos echoing the same pile of bullsh!t, does not make it true. when i came to recovery, my powers of reasoning and discerning reality from fantasy had allowed me to survive as a bottom-feeder for a very long time. those very same skills almost marched me out of the rooms, before i had a chance to see all the facts and evaluate the evidence that recovery actually worked for people like me. today, i KNOW that just because i do not like an outcome, it does not necessarily mean that the game was rigged from the start.
this morning, while my FAITH in the political process has not been fully restored, my FAITH in the recovery process is still intact. i am still clean after a days on days of angst over how my siblings and i are going to keep our parents in their home, my Dad's injury and his unwillingness to get up and eat something and of course the end of the war on science by big business cronies and proxies. once again, science does not require my belief to be true. ther world is not flat as evidenced by my own eyes as i personally watched a total eclipse of the sun and saw the curved shadow of the Earth mover across the face of the sun. and in the end, for this addict, recovery works, because i live it, just for today.
∞ DT ∞