Blog entry for:

accept that i cannot help those i hold most dear, is yet another painful lesson of my recovery journey. although the reading was speaking to recovery from addiction, in my case, this applies to the recovery from a debilitating health condition, that was brought on by lifestyle choices that were far from healthy. as i stop asking the questions that get only the same glib and vague responses, each and every time i ask them, i feel sad that i cannot influence someone else to stretch beyond what they think is possible and stop limiting themselves. be that as it may, for me, detachment from this issue is certainly the healthiest thing i can do. allowing them to do what they will and being there to pick up the pieces as they spin down into the inevitable consequences of not doing, is what i have to accept as my reality today. my insanity of fighting them to do more is over and i am walking away from the idea that i can influence them to do what they choose not to do, and for them, it is truly a choice.
as i prepare to post this little exercise in mind-dumpery, so i can do what i NEED to do and head down to the office, i am struck by what floated to the surface this morning as i sat. accepting that no one could stop me from using, until the pain of my consequences outweighed the effort of abstaining, is a fact of my life. even after i “quit,” no one could force me to become a member, work a program or develop a new manner of living, until i saw it was in own best interest. using that fact as the cornerstone of what i am going through, i can see that i just need to let go and support without enabling, until they are ready to take some action in their own life, just for today.

∞ DT ∞