ฮฑ giving myself the freedom to live my own life. ฮฉ
Posted: Thu, Apr 20, 2006 06:57:48 AM
are there people i know and love who could benefit from the program that has given me this new life? without a doubt and then some! is there anyway i can get those people into the rooms and out of what appears to me as active addiction? well i could always bind and gag them, drag them into the rooms and hope that some of what goes on in our meetings would sink through their skin, however i doubt that would be very effective nor very spiritual, DAMMIT!
so what is a person to do?? well the reading suggests that i live a program and let those who may be in need of these rooms see the actual results of how i do it. detach, live by example, and have FAITH that they will decide to come on their own. well i am not very good with delayed gratification, nor do i have a strong desire to wait for results. i want what i want, and i want it now! i want the insanity in my friends and families to stop now and even though i and not participating in it, it still affects me. and i do not want to deal with the effects of that particular form of madness today or any day, after all i should be better than that by now!
but alas, i am not better than that, and i still have the desire to meddle in the lives of those i love and fix them. sounds like another bit of step work for me, or just a continuation of the process i have already begun.
the reading also addresses me on yet another level that i have not even thought about. how do i deal with my sponsees and peers in recovery, when they are sliding away from the path of recovery and spinning down into the insanity of addiction? and for me the answer is the same, as it for my friends and family members outside the program. specifically to live and work my program, be available and present for questions, concerns, offer my opinion when asked, and live in FAITH that they too can work their program and find their way back to the path of recovery. i cannot work a program for anyone else, nor should i even believe that i can. although the sponsorship relationship provides a bit more latitude than my family relationships in this respect, i still have to learn to let go of my sponsees and allow them the freedom to stumble and learn how to live the program for themselves. after all, the men that have sponsored me over the years did not keep me clean, that is beyond their power, they provided an example of how to do it, offered the guidance i needed and allowed me to learn how to do this for myself.
so detaching and living in FAITH that the program can and will work in the lives of those for whom i care seems to be the lesson on today‘s plate for me. i can be okay knowing that if i keep doing what i need to do, those who watch me may decide that they can do it too! and for right now, that is more than enough.
so what is a person to do?? well the reading suggests that i live a program and let those who may be in need of these rooms see the actual results of how i do it. detach, live by example, and have FAITH that they will decide to come on their own. well i am not very good with delayed gratification, nor do i have a strong desire to wait for results. i want what i want, and i want it now! i want the insanity in my friends and families to stop now and even though i and not participating in it, it still affects me. and i do not want to deal with the effects of that particular form of madness today or any day, after all i should be better than that by now!
but alas, i am not better than that, and i still have the desire to meddle in the lives of those i love and fix them. sounds like another bit of step work for me, or just a continuation of the process i have already begun.
the reading also addresses me on yet another level that i have not even thought about. how do i deal with my sponsees and peers in recovery, when they are sliding away from the path of recovery and spinning down into the insanity of addiction? and for me the answer is the same, as it for my friends and family members outside the program. specifically to live and work my program, be available and present for questions, concerns, offer my opinion when asked, and live in FAITH that they too can work their program and find their way back to the path of recovery. i cannot work a program for anyone else, nor should i even believe that i can. although the sponsorship relationship provides a bit more latitude than my family relationships in this respect, i still have to learn to let go of my sponsees and allow them the freedom to stumble and learn how to live the program for themselves. after all, the men that have sponsored me over the years did not keep me clean, that is beyond their power, they provided an example of how to do it, offered the guidance i needed and allowed me to learn how to do this for myself.
so detaching and living in FAITH that the program can and will work in the lives of those for whom i care seems to be the lesson on today‘s plate for me. i can be okay knowing that if i keep doing what i need to do, those who watch me may decide that they can do it too! and for right now, that is more than enough.
∞ DT ∞