โ keeping in touch with who i am, where i came from, and where i am going โ
Posted: Sun, May 21, 2006 08:32:27 AM
i have been clean for a bit of time now, and although i cringe when ever i hear another member say that they are a newcomer every day, i understand what they are trying to say -- that they have to approach their recovery as if they just came into the program to stay clean today. since i am spouting off about clich&eactue;s this morning the other one that is just as repulsive to me, is the member who says, " that who ever woke up first this morning has the most clean time!"
now that digression and bit of puking is done, time to move on to what the reading spoke to me about.
although i do not get to stop being an addict after a bit of time abstinent from drugs, my life certainly does not resemble my using life, (see yesterday) and i tend to forget how my life changed so dramatically, internally and externally. so one of the reasons i still attend a meeting or two a week is to give me a bit of perspective about the journey i am embarked on because i choose to stay clean on a daily basis. the embarkation point of that journey is no longer visible although i celebrate the anniversary of that day every year. so for this addict the only way i can keep that place in time and space in sight is to attend meetings and actually be a part of the fellowship by participating, actively listening and sharing when i need to. but all of those activities, are topics for many other blogs. what this is about , for me, is that i need to identify with the addicts who are in any stage of the a similar journey as myself. whether they are just starting out or they have traveled a whole lot more distance than me. it does not matter, what matters is that in this fellowship i can find all i need to find to identify with the apparent symptoms of my disease, and find the HOPE that i too can access the tools i need to access to continue on my current magical mystery tour to destinations unknown!
now that digression and bit of puking is done, time to move on to what the reading spoke to me about.
although i do not get to stop being an addict after a bit of time abstinent from drugs, my life certainly does not resemble my using life, (see yesterday) and i tend to forget how my life changed so dramatically, internally and externally. so one of the reasons i still attend a meeting or two a week is to give me a bit of perspective about the journey i am embarked on because i choose to stay clean on a daily basis. the embarkation point of that journey is no longer visible although i celebrate the anniversary of that day every year. so for this addict the only way i can keep that place in time and space in sight is to attend meetings and actually be a part of the fellowship by participating, actively listening and sharing when i need to. but all of those activities, are topics for many other blogs. what this is about , for me, is that i need to identify with the addicts who are in any stage of the a similar journey as myself. whether they are just starting out or they have traveled a whole lot more distance than me. it does not matter, what matters is that in this fellowship i can find all i need to find to identify with the apparent symptoms of my disease, and find the HOPE that i too can access the tools i need to access to continue on my current magical mystery tour to destinations unknown!
∞ DT ∞