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and Step Ten? wot?! i have to do this stuff consistently for it to work? i cannot just pick and choose what i do and how often and expect to keep what i have been given? as silly as those questions may sound coming from someone with a minute clean and who has tasted the gifts that long-term recovery brings, they still pop into my head from time to time, especially when i tire of doing what i have done for my recovery time and time again. there are days when i wonder if this recovery gig is paying off and i have to run through the material gifts i have been give and sometimes that is enough. when that fails, i need to run through the list of the spiritual and emotional gifts that i have received as a result of doing the daily deed. yes, that is correct i start in the physical, material world, before going to the more important but less tangible world. i am still a slave to my senses and have the need to experience the world through my own senses. i know i could take a “virtual” trip to the summit of Kilimanjaro, the Acropolis in Athens, Old Faithful in Yellowstone and some day that may just have to be what happens. Before i get to a place in my life where i cannot experience the places and things i wish to, i will grab on to whatever opportunities i am presented with and feel and sense them to the max.
realistically speaking, however, it is the spiritual, emotional, and intellectual rewards of living a program of active recovery, that are the most important. although i am excited to e attempting to arrive at the summit of Africa, i am grateful for the more mundane parts of my life, balance, a direction and the ability to see past my judgements, biases and prejudices. for me, STEP TEN is the gift that keeps on giving. there are many times in my day when i ask myself do i really want to admit i am wrong, and choose to do the next right thing. the next right thing, right here and right now, is to post this missive to myself on the interwebs and hit the streets. life as Don is not all that bad today, in fact it is pretty darn good and even when STEP TEN feels like some onerous burden, i know that the benefits far outweigh the cost of spending a few minutes, every night, looking and what i did and did not do and how that affected the lives of those around me, for better or worse. so it is off to the races. 😁

∞ DT ∞