Blog entry for:

with empathy, myself and all of those i happen to touch in my daily travels, seems like something i can aspire to, today. in the drama of the theft of my hoodie, i have been ghosted and i have one more message for lying, thieving piece of shit, before i let it go. i will wish them the hell of living in the shame of stealing from a peer, when he was not being watched and lying to himself as to why he deserved to abscond that article of clothing. they are not what i thought they were and certainly a person who will have a steep climb to regain my trust. it is not as if i never stole anything from a friend or acquaintance and helped them look for it, that scenario has played out several times in my active addiction. since i decide to get clean, even before i accepted recovery as my way of life, i started to live a life where i did not need to steal from others, to get what i desired. i know what is like to believe i am entitled to stuff. i know what it is like to justify and rationalize my way into denial. so i can forgive this lying thieving little shit for what they did, but i will certainly never forget their attempt to slink away into the ether without doing the next right thing.
moving into the right now, i had a great workout this morning, and after dropping my shit on my perpetrator and writing what i did, i am finally willing to let go and see what happens. i know that karma is a bitch, and more than once, even in recovery, i have done some seriously heinous stuff. the fact is, i have always been forgiven for doing that stuff, and often embraced by my victim with a hug as they let go of the damage and accepted my attempt to make things right. as i grow the space in my heart to pray that the latest “villain” in my story, will stay clean and stay in recovery, i will treat myself with a bit of empathy as well. i do not “need” to be hateful and vindictive, even though i have the desire to do so.😡
it is time, however, to post this little bit of drama-scrolling to the web and get out and about to enjoy a cigar or two, while watching football. i am glad that i have finally moved towards acceptance of what i no longer possess, and am allowing myself the freedom to realize that just for today, there are very few things i have to lie to myself about, so i can deny my responsibility for what i did or did not do. life goes on, and i will survive, as now i “get to” bring a new hoodie into the house. 😆

∞ DT ∞