๐ฆ feelings are temporary ๐ฅ
Posted: Sat, Jan 11, 2025 02:15:16 PM
although at times, it almost feels as if they will never go away. achieving spiritual balance has been something i have sought to obtain since i was a young lad. there were times when i was in active addiction when i thought i had found the magic bullet, but my feelings always rebounded, worse than before. my solution was to swallow any feelings i judged to be “bad” and foster those i judged to be “good.” that behavior was one i carried with me through my period of mere abstinence and into my early recovery, as the day of recovery piled up, i realized that i had this emotional balance thing all wrong and something had to change, or i would end up in a place i would rather not go.
when i was six years clean, my “temporary” sponsor that i had for the next twenty-one years, suggested that maybe it was time to stop judging what a feeling “was” and just feel them, as no one had ever died from a feeling. it was not that the emotional roller-coaster of early recovery had stopped, but those wild swings had settled down and i thought i had my feelings “under control.” today, as i look back at swallow or foster, i see that i was never in control and because of the steps what i could do, is feel those feelings, even those that overwhelmed me and respond to them, rather than reacting to them. that took a shit ton of practice, but these days, i have found a space where i can can feel and be okay.
this morning, after my home group i agreed to be a temporary sponsor for an addict who is on DRT. i have some grave concerns about how to be the sponsor that he will need, given my strong opinions about DRT. this will be a learning opportunity for me and i felt no hesitation when agreed to do so. i guess that is part of the plan i cannot see and i will allow myself to feel my way through to the next correct thing to do. he has the desire to stop using. he has the desire to work with medical professionals to get to a point where he can stop, so all i have to do, is give him what i have and have FAITH that it will be more than adequate to get him to a place where he, too, can live a life in the spiritual FREEDOM from active addiction.
when i was six years clean, my “temporary” sponsor that i had for the next twenty-one years, suggested that maybe it was time to stop judging what a feeling “was” and just feel them, as no one had ever died from a feeling. it was not that the emotional roller-coaster of early recovery had stopped, but those wild swings had settled down and i thought i had my feelings “under control.” today, as i look back at swallow or foster, i see that i was never in control and because of the steps what i could do, is feel those feelings, even those that overwhelmed me and respond to them, rather than reacting to them. that took a shit ton of practice, but these days, i have found a space where i can can feel and be okay.
this morning, after my home group i agreed to be a temporary sponsor for an addict who is on DRT. i have some grave concerns about how to be the sponsor that he will need, given my strong opinions about DRT. this will be a learning opportunity for me and i felt no hesitation when agreed to do so. i guess that is part of the plan i cannot see and i will allow myself to feel my way through to the next correct thing to do. he has the desire to stop using. he has the desire to work with medical professionals to get to a point where he can stop, so all i have to do, is give him what i have and have FAITH that it will be more than adequate to get him to a place where he, too, can live a life in the spiritual FREEDOM from active addiction.
∞ DT ∞