๐ค recovery does ๐ฃ
Posted: Sun, Oct 18, 2026 09:00:09 AM
not eliminate pain and suffering from my life, but my faith gives me a way to endure it. in days past, long past, this might have turned into a HIGHER POWER and my faith in IT sort of post. today, although i do have a POWER that fuels my recovery and i do have FAITH that it will provide what i need to stay clean today, more of my FAITH is based on my program of recovery and the people who fill my life with meaning and support. i do not look to that POWER as anything more than a source from which i can draw support and that support will be the opportunity for those very same people to give me their strength and support.
this whole question of FAITH for me always swings me back to the “Santa God” concept i held in my very early recovery. now i have FAITH that i do enough every day to strengthen my recovery and provide the bulwark against the storms of life, that does not mean i do not get angry when shit rains down on me and whine about the injustice of it all. i still have very strong emotions and any sort of zen-like acceptance of that is just how it is, is not my first reaction. i have long past outgrown the “part of a divine plan” sort of reaction. nope, i get pissed, pissy, scared, sad and humbled over and over and over again. i allow myself to feel all of than and then move towards a place of zen-like acceptance sprinkled with bouts of my raw emotions. it is my deep and abiding FAITH in the fellowship, my recovery program and my relationships that sustain me and carry me through those emotions, clean!
today, i can accept i spent way too much money this week in getting my teeth fixed, i may lose both matches of fantasy football and my bathroom still being redone and my life being tied to my home four days a week. none of that is ideal and any or all of that might have once made me think that a short vacation from reality would be called for. today, i have no desire to use anything to change the way i am feeling and can move forward into my day with few or no regrets about what my life looks like today. as one of my peers was fond of saying: nothing is fucked, just for today.
this whole question of FAITH for me always swings me back to the “Santa God” concept i held in my very early recovery. now i have FAITH that i do enough every day to strengthen my recovery and provide the bulwark against the storms of life, that does not mean i do not get angry when shit rains down on me and whine about the injustice of it all. i still have very strong emotions and any sort of zen-like acceptance of that is just how it is, is not my first reaction. i have long past outgrown the “part of a divine plan” sort of reaction. nope, i get pissed, pissy, scared, sad and humbled over and over and over again. i allow myself to feel all of than and then move towards a place of zen-like acceptance sprinkled with bouts of my raw emotions. it is my deep and abiding FAITH in the fellowship, my recovery program and my relationships that sustain me and carry me through those emotions, clean!
today, i can accept i spent way too much money this week in getting my teeth fixed, i may lose both matches of fantasy football and my bathroom still being redone and my life being tied to my home four days a week. none of that is ideal and any or all of that might have once made me think that a short vacation from reality would be called for. today, i have no desire to use anything to change the way i am feeling and can move forward into my day with few or no regrets about what my life looks like today. as one of my peers was fond of saying: nothing is fucked, just for today.
∞ DT ∞