Blog entry for:
Fri, Jun 25, 2004 04:42:19 AM
what exactly is the miracle anyway?
posted: Fri, Jun 25, 2004 04:42:19 AM
somedays i wonder if my recovery is really a miracle
am i really an addict or do i just play one on weekends and holidays
listening to a friend share last night made me once again doubt if my problem is truly one of addiction. here is a man who has several years clean without working a program of any depth. outside he appears to happy, joyous and free and yet he has not done much except attend meetings and reamin abstinence
why was i chosen to recover instead of rotting in drug abuse and prison?
do i really need to do all the things i do on a daily basis?
am i making too much of this whole process?
this is not the first time i have had these doubts and most of the time i resolve them by taking on more side jobs, another sponsee or a new service position
this way i do not have to explore this line of thought to it's ends
i will not stop what i am doing but the fear of starting this process over again has greatly diminished in the past couple of days
i toy with the idea that i can drink responsibly and enjoy an ice cold malt beverage without going to where i was
then of course i look at my other behaviors and see the same pattern of extremes there. the evidence can be interpreted one way or another to achieve whatever conclusion i which to jump to.
but just for today i will work under the assumption that yes i suffer from the disease of addiction and i need to do what i have been doing in order to continue being a part of my life.
just for today my default setting will be the program and i will allow myself to feel my way through this
DT
am i really an addict or do i just play one on weekends and holidays
listening to a friend share last night made me once again doubt if my problem is truly one of addiction. here is a man who has several years clean without working a program of any depth. outside he appears to happy, joyous and free and yet he has not done much except attend meetings and reamin abstinence
why was i chosen to recover instead of rotting in drug abuse and prison?
do i really need to do all the things i do on a daily basis?
am i making too much of this whole process?
this is not the first time i have had these doubts and most of the time i resolve them by taking on more side jobs, another sponsee or a new service position
this way i do not have to explore this line of thought to it's ends
i will not stop what i am doing but the fear of starting this process over again has greatly diminished in the past couple of days
i toy with the idea that i can drink responsibly and enjoy an ice cold malt beverage without going to where i was
then of course i look at my other behaviors and see the same pattern of extremes there. the evidence can be interpreted one way or another to achieve whatever conclusion i which to jump to.
but just for today i will work under the assumption that yes i suffer from the disease of addiction and i need to do what i have been doing in order to continue being a part of my life.
just for today my default setting will be the program and i will allow myself to feel my way through this
DT
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
∞ coincidence or miracle ∞ 163 words ➥ Saturday, June 25, 2005 by: donnotΨ the process of coming to believe involves a willingness to recognize miracles Ψ 663 words ➥ Sunday, June 25, 2006 by: donnot
α it becomes possible to trust that this Higher Power ω 369 words ➥ Monday, June 25, 2007 by: donnot
∞ coming to believe is a process that stems from personal experience. ∞ 555 words ➥ Wednesday, June 25, 2008 by: donnot
· when i can look back at the evidence of a loving Higher Power acting on my behalf … 623 words ➥ Thursday, June 25, 2009 by: donnot
¤ many, many addicts die from addiction, never to experience what i have found in this fellowship. ¤ 549 words ➥ Friday, June 25, 2010 by: donnot
∂ the process of coming to believe restores me to sanity ∂ 662 words ➥ Saturday, June 25, 2011 by: donnot
¹ my recovery is more than coincidence ¹ 719 words ➥ Monday, June 25, 2012 by: donnot
∑ trust offers me the strength to move forward ∑ 758 words ➥ Tuesday, June 25, 2013 by: donnot
« can i look back at my life » 772 words ➥ Wednesday, June 25, 2014 by: donnot
≈ not just lucky ≈ 359 words ➥ Thursday, June 25, 2015 by: donnot
🐏 the strength 🐓 766 words ➥ Saturday, June 25, 2016 by: donnot
❓ lucky ❔ 626 words ➥ Sunday, June 25, 2017 by: donnot
🎰 i am grateful 🎰 399 words ➥ Monday, June 25, 2018 by: donnot
🤔 coming to believe 🤔 598 words ➥ Tuesday, June 25, 2019 by: donnot
🍀 a fortunate one 🍀 481 words ➥ Thursday, June 25, 2020 by: donnot
🧐 solid evidence, 🤨 575 words ➥ Friday, June 25, 2021 by: donnot
🤔 more than coincidence 🙻 464 words ➥ Saturday, June 25, 2022 by: donnot
🤝 building 🤟 399 words ➥ Sunday, June 25, 2023 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 1
3) Hence, those with whom he agrees as to the Tao have the happiness
of attaining to it; those with whom he agrees as to its manifestation
have the happiness of attaining to it; and those with whom he agrees
in their failure have also the happiness of attaining (to the Tao).
(But) when there is not faith sufficient (on his part), a want of
faith (in him) ensues (on the part of the others).