ยค many, many addicts die from addiction, never to experience what i have found in this fellowship. ยค
Posted: Fri, Jun 25, 2010 09:56:44 AM
why exactly i was fortunate enough to be place upon this path is a mystery to me today. i have discovered however, that the process of coming to believe involves a willingness to recognize miracles for what they are. the miracle that i found the path of recovery is one such miracle that i acknowledge every day.
okay, this could be a whole “GOD” post, about my process, or even more tedious about my view of the “face of my concept of a HIGHER POWER.” of course i could continue to waste your time by telling you what i am not writing about, but sometimes, this is just for me anyhow, and i need to hone away what i do not want to talk about to get to what i do want to talk about. that process is now complete,
right off the bat, if i was truly LUCKY, i probably would not have ever made it to recovery. i also have trouble believing in fate and predestination. so if i discount those three explanations for my a$$ landing in the rooms of this fellowship, that does not leave many other explanations. after all, i had no clue that this fellowship even existed until the 20th judicial district got their claws into me. i had no reason to ever consider looking for something like this, as i truly believed that there was no problems with my life as it was. looking at it from this vantage point, there must have been forces acting upon my life that were and probably still are beyond my ken. the principle of a body remaining in motion unless acted upon by an outside force, applies in a social context as well as in a physical sense. it is true, that things were getting uncomfortable in my life, but i truly believed that was the fault of everyone and everything else, and had nothing to do with me and my chemical romance. so to have my life so flipped around and to have the events that occurred to get me and keep me here, could be a long chain of fortunate coincidences, which is how i chose to see things way back when, only fortunate was not the adjective i would have chosen, back in the day. perhaps, and this is where the whole process of ‘coming to believe’ started for me, that was more than a chain of coincidences, it was in fact some sort of miracle, and it may just be evidence of the action of a HIGHER POWER upon my life. from that crack in the door, the rest is history, so to speak.
listing the miracles that i choose to see today would be exhausting band far from complete even if i took hours to catalog each and every one of them. the most important one is i woke up this morning with the desire to stay clean, and to do whatever it takes to stay clean today. so with that miracle in mind i will return to my miraculous life and see what i can get done today. it is after all, a great day to be walking along the path of recovery.
okay, this could be a whole “GOD” post, about my process, or even more tedious about my view of the “face of my concept of a HIGHER POWER.” of course i could continue to waste your time by telling you what i am not writing about, but sometimes, this is just for me anyhow, and i need to hone away what i do not want to talk about to get to what i do want to talk about. that process is now complete,
right off the bat, if i was truly LUCKY, i probably would not have ever made it to recovery. i also have trouble believing in fate and predestination. so if i discount those three explanations for my a$$ landing in the rooms of this fellowship, that does not leave many other explanations. after all, i had no clue that this fellowship even existed until the 20th judicial district got their claws into me. i had no reason to ever consider looking for something like this, as i truly believed that there was no problems with my life as it was. looking at it from this vantage point, there must have been forces acting upon my life that were and probably still are beyond my ken. the principle of a body remaining in motion unless acted upon by an outside force, applies in a social context as well as in a physical sense. it is true, that things were getting uncomfortable in my life, but i truly believed that was the fault of everyone and everything else, and had nothing to do with me and my chemical romance. so to have my life so flipped around and to have the events that occurred to get me and keep me here, could be a long chain of fortunate coincidences, which is how i chose to see things way back when, only fortunate was not the adjective i would have chosen, back in the day. perhaps, and this is where the whole process of ‘coming to believe’ started for me, that was more than a chain of coincidences, it was in fact some sort of miracle, and it may just be evidence of the action of a HIGHER POWER upon my life. from that crack in the door, the rest is history, so to speak.
listing the miracles that i choose to see today would be exhausting band far from complete even if i took hours to catalog each and every one of them. the most important one is i woke up this morning with the desire to stay clean, and to do whatever it takes to stay clean today. so with that miracle in mind i will return to my miraculous life and see what i can get done today. it is after all, a great day to be walking along the path of recovery.
∞ DT ∞