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as a person who does put a whole lot of stock in miracles or the **HAND of GOD,** this particular reading presents a few issues. there may be an overarching plan to the universe, that i am not privy to, and i make no claims to having any inside information. perhaps, it would be the easier and softer way, if i followed the lead of many of my peers and called some of the events in my life, that i actually survived, miracles. when i consider what it took for me to reach this point in my life, i could certainly see how easy it would be to attribute to the actions of a benevolent HIGHER POWER and walk away satisfied that i had that in my corner. that is one of the notions that kept me from claiming the spiritual path i have embraced, for the first fifteen years of my recovery ⥤ my FEAR of thinking for myself and following me heart.
this morning, as i once again run across the notion of being“protected” by a HIGHER POWER, i trip merrily back to where i started this journey at, namely that all religion was superstition. no matter what side of the fence one stood, just arguing about whether or not there was a GOD was the stuff of ignorant peasants, as “independent thinkers,” were above having those discussions. my intolerance to the beliefs of others colored my perception of their native intelligence and their ability to critically think and arrive at rational and logical solutions and was part of my arsenal to keep me apart from them. when i reached the pit of my despair, i surrendered to the notion that, maybe, just maybe, they were correct and that i needed to follow their lead into the promised land.
one can follow the history of that journey, by looking back through the corpus of my blogging activity and see that yes, i was a “true believer,” for quiet some time. the whys of how i was “spared” death in the throes of my active addiction, is no longer anything i am concerned about and when i my peers speak of miracles, i give them the freedom to do so, without my infernal judge, jury and executioner, chopping them down in their prime. i may not be as tolerant of general society and their screeching about how they know the “mind of GOD” but here in the rooms, i know that any day clean for an addict like myself is really not rationally explainable, so perhaps miraculous is not a bad adjective to use. this morning, i am open-minded enough to allow those with whom i share my recovery with, the freedom to believe what they will, even if it sounds like a bad “B-movie” plot.

∞ DT ∞