Blog entry for:

Thu, Feb 12, 2009 08:17:52 AM


∞ when i work the steps and pray each time i discover i am not …
posted: Thu, Feb 12, 2009 08:17:52 AM

 

...living in the present, i will notice that those times are not occurring as often as they used to. my faith will help me live just for today. the gift of the present, quite a meaty topic so early in the morning, however it is an excellent place for me to get started on my busy day. i used to think that living in the present meant not making plans, and although i kept that part of my opinion very quiet, for the time i held it, i used to think i was somehow strange in holding such a notion. well, i heard another addict say the same thing last night in an open meeting, so when i read this particular slice of wisdom this morning, i was struck by how silly that belief was for me. i seem to be focusing on my belief structure a lot these days. perhaps it is a side effect of a formal tenth step that officially was completed last night, or perhaps it is something more happening, a fundamental shift in what i believe and hold dear. i know i have a sponsee, who is currently suffering from his sponsor attacking his less than realistic belief structure, and that might also be the case, as i work with the men who honor me by asking me to sponsor them, i find my own program often goes in directions that i have no control over. be that as it may, i finally came to believe that living in the present means making plans, having dreams and working towards goals. those activities are not only desirable, but required for living in the real world. if i could cloister like a monk somewhere, perhaps i could just live in the moment with no thought about what i want to be tomorrow, or how i will maintain my lifestyle or any of the other mundane plans that i need to make to live in the world today. for me, living in the present includes making plans, taking the steps necessary to allow them to pan out, then letting go of the results. the last part is the most important, i do what i can, right here and right now, then move on. i need not meddle in, or worry about or manipulate the world around me to see them come out the way i want them to.
for me that is living in the moment, but a crucial piece is missing from my discussion here, what about my past? well, as a result of working the steps, i have put my past into perspective. my mistakes were my mistakes, step work has allowed me to see where and how i went wrong, and has given me the opportunity to change into a person who will not act in that manner and can forgive himself for his past transgressions. the shame i heaped upon myself throughout my recovery and probably throughout my active addiction is no longer present, and as i move into the present, i am more comfortable with the man i am becoming -- genuine, self-aware and whole --.
okay, the time has come to make-up for the snow and ice yesterday, so it is off to the streets i go with this thought in mind -- i am responsible for what i believe today, and i believe that i can make a plan and do what i need to do, to foster its completion at the same time let go of the results -- life is too short to live in anything but the her and now.

∞ DT ∞

 

djtConsulting Brand
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.

Another Look!

∞ opening myself to the joys of the now ∞ 368 words ➥ Sunday, February 12, 2006 by: donnot
↔ some times it is difficult to stay in the moment. ↔ 274 words ➥ Monday, February 12, 2007 by: donnot
∞ until i experienced the healing that happens when i work the Twelve Steps, ∞ 518 words ➥ Tuesday, February 12, 2008 by: donnot
≅ it is still difficult for me to stay in the moment ≅ 553 words ➥ Friday, February 12, 2010 by: donnot
⌈ i regretted the past, dreaded the future, ⌋ 738 words ➥ Saturday, February 12, 2011 by: donnot
♣ i can have hours, even days, when my full attention is focused ♣ 655 words ➥ Sunday, February 12, 2012 by: donnot
± if i dread the future, ± 544 words ➥ Tuesday, February 12, 2013 by: donnot
· each time i realize that my thoughts are not focused · 525 words ➥ Wednesday, February 12, 2014 by: donnot
† not in the regrettable past † 435 words ➥ Thursday, February 12, 2015 by: donnot
⌖ living ⌖ 375 words ➥ Friday, February 12, 2016 by: donnot
ϵ learning to ϶ 927 words ➥ Sunday, February 12, 2017 by: donnot
🌈 opening myself 🌩 609 words ➥ Monday, February 12, 2018 by: donnot
🙹 some days, 🙹 559 words ➥ Tuesday, February 12, 2019 by: donnot
🕗 not all that 🕳 507 words ➥ Wednesday, February 12, 2020 by: donnot
🕡 getting out of myself 🕖 426 words ➥ Friday, February 12, 2021 by: donnot
🏧 living in the moment 🏃 501 words ➥ Saturday, February 12, 2022 by: donnot
😎 as i experience 😎 434 words ➥ Sunday, February 12, 2023 by: donnot
😌 surrender and 😌 532 words ➥ Monday, February 12, 2024 by: donnot
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☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯

THE TAO TEH KING, OR THE TAO AND ITS CHARACTERISTICS
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge

Book 1

2) I do not know its name, and I give it the designation of the Tao
(the Way or Course). Making an effort (further) to give it a name
I call it The Great.