Blog entry for:
Mon, Feb 12, 2007 07:51:46 AM
↔ some times it is difficult to stay in the moment. ↔
posted: Mon, Feb 12, 2007 07:51:46 AM
it seems as though my mind will not stop.
that is especially true for me over the past couple of weeks. my life is changing and moving forward at warp speed warp ninety-seven to be exact and i can here the Scottish engineer complaining how the ship cannot take it.
be that as it may, i am also locked in my past after preparing to do my fifth step twice over the past week. i did not think that this was something that was affecting me, but last night, at my very regular meeting, i felt dirty and different. i know i am not different and not dirty, nevertheless i felt that way. so i am rescheduled for today, and i will see what today brings.
so here i am locked in the past, projecting into the future and totally incapable of feeling and being right here, right now. just like someone fresh to recovery, i feel as .... i will let you guys complete that statement and i will go do some work, make some calls and let the day happen as it may. i cannot see past the moment in reality nor can i change my past, and what i am feeling is just what ever addict feels from time to time in their recovery, a tad overwhelmed by the events of living, and more than a bit of regret about how i lived in the past.
so off to the races with my racing mind. life is way too short to be fretting about these silly issue today!
that is especially true for me over the past couple of weeks. my life is changing and moving forward at warp speed warp ninety-seven to be exact and i can here the Scottish engineer complaining how the ship cannot take it.
be that as it may, i am also locked in my past after preparing to do my fifth step twice over the past week. i did not think that this was something that was affecting me, but last night, at my very regular meeting, i felt dirty and different. i know i am not different and not dirty, nevertheless i felt that way. so i am rescheduled for today, and i will see what today brings.
so here i am locked in the past, projecting into the future and totally incapable of feeling and being right here, right now. just like someone fresh to recovery, i feel as .... i will let you guys complete that statement and i will go do some work, make some calls and let the day happen as it may. i cannot see past the moment in reality nor can i change my past, and what i am feeling is just what ever addict feels from time to time in their recovery, a tad overwhelmed by the events of living, and more than a bit of regret about how i lived in the past.
so off to the races with my racing mind. life is way too short to be fretting about these silly issue today!
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
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∞ when i work the steps and pray each time i discover i am not … 616 words ➥ Thursday, February 12, 2009 by: donnot
≅ it is still difficult for me to stay in the moment ≅ 553 words ➥ Friday, February 12, 2010 by: donnot
⌈ i regretted the past, dreaded the future, ⌋ 738 words ➥ Saturday, February 12, 2011 by: donnot
♣ i can have hours, even days, when my full attention is focused ♣ 655 words ➥ Sunday, February 12, 2012 by: donnot
± if i dread the future, ± 544 words ➥ Tuesday, February 12, 2013 by: donnot
· each time i realize that my thoughts are not focused · 525 words ➥ Wednesday, February 12, 2014 by: donnot
† not in the regrettable past † 435 words ➥ Thursday, February 12, 2015 by: donnot
⌖ living ⌖ 375 words ➥ Friday, February 12, 2016 by: donnot
ϵ learning to ϶ 927 words ➥ Sunday, February 12, 2017 by: donnot
🌈 opening myself 🌩 609 words ➥ Monday, February 12, 2018 by: donnot
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🕗 not all that 🕳 507 words ➥ Wednesday, February 12, 2020 by: donnot
🕡 getting out of myself 🕖 426 words ➥ Friday, February 12, 2021 by: donnot
🏧 living in the moment 🏃 501 words ➥ Saturday, February 12, 2022 by: donnot
😎 as i experience 😎 434 words ➥ Sunday, February 12, 2023 by: donnot
😌 surrender and 😌 532 words ➥ Monday, February 12, 2024 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 2
2) This honouring of the Tao and exalting of its operation is not
the result of any ordination, but always a spontaneous tribute.