ยน the bottom line of recovery, of course, is freedom from the compulsion to use ยน
Posted: Mon, Aug 31, 2009 08:44:16 AM
abstinence itself has brought great freedom to my life, however the fellowship has given me much more than simple abstinence -- i have been given a whole new life. so after a weekend where i had to work for hours on end, and after dealing with some sort of bug, that knocked me down yesterday, one might think it would be hard for me to be grateful this morning for this whole new life that led up to the events of the weekend. one might think that, but in retrospect, had i been using, and just happened to end up where i am now, doubtful as that is, i would have hardly been as productive feeling as bad as i did yesterday.
in that bizarro world, for me to get where i am now, would have been quite an accomplishment and honestly, while it might have been possible, after all anything can happen, it hardly seems that it would have been probable.
here in the real world, such thoughts can only lead me to gratitude for a life that was beyond my wildest drug-induced dreams. i mean seriously, who would have thought that i could form and maintain a loving relationship, purchase two houses, work successfully for myself and most importantly of all, come to a place where i loved and respected myself enough to do whatever it takes to stay clean today.
so as i start to move off the in between place i have been, in between steps 11 and 12, i can take stock in what i have been given, what i have achieved and what my dreams and visions for my future. as a result, i am certain, that the nature of my spiritual awakening will become some damn evident, that i will one of those D’OH moments, that fill me life from time to time.
so this morning i am grateful for what i have been given and as a result, it is time to hit the streets and maintain the machine that houses my essential being, for that too is a gift of recovery. off into this cool damp morning i go, later gator!
in that bizarro world, for me to get where i am now, would have been quite an accomplishment and honestly, while it might have been possible, after all anything can happen, it hardly seems that it would have been probable.
here in the real world, such thoughts can only lead me to gratitude for a life that was beyond my wildest drug-induced dreams. i mean seriously, who would have thought that i could form and maintain a loving relationship, purchase two houses, work successfully for myself and most importantly of all, come to a place where i loved and respected myself enough to do whatever it takes to stay clean today.
so as i start to move off the in between place i have been, in between steps 11 and 12, i can take stock in what i have been given, what i have achieved and what my dreams and visions for my future. as a result, i am certain, that the nature of my spiritual awakening will become some damn evident, that i will one of those D’OH moments, that fill me life from time to time.
so this morning i am grateful for what i have been given and as a result, it is time to hit the streets and maintain the machine that houses my essential being, for that too is a gift of recovery. off into this cool damp morning i go, later gator!
∞ DT ∞