Blog entry for:
Thu, Aug 31, 2006 08:25:03 AM
∞ in the course of day-to-day recovery, i sometimes forget how much our lives have changed. ∞
posted: Thu, Aug 31, 2006 08:25:03 AM
do i fully appreciate what my program has given me?
of course i do not, i forget what the desperation of trying to get clean was like because it has been so many days since the last time i used. and when the compulsion and obsession left me, i was able to move on to bigger and better things. in fact, i am very scattered this morning as i prepare to take off for the Florida keys this afternoon. for the past five days i had to exercise FAITH in abundance, since our destination got a bit of a drenching from a tropical storm. so this morning i am grateful that things are open and we will be able to enjoy our vacation. i am even more grateful that i have acquired the spiritual tool of FAITH. even though i checked on the progress of the storm every twenty minutes all through monday and tuesday, at least i did not cut and run.
what else am i grateful for today, well the resources to take off and leave everything behind for four days, the ability to make plans and see them come to fruition, and the ability not to use no matter what! and none of those are trivial matters.
i am grateful that i have learned how to accept myself as i am right now, the ability to let go of the idea that somehow i am a victim of my past or the part of me i call my disease. i am grateful that i can participate fully in relationships, both romantic and platonic, and friendships. and i am grateful that i have started to learn how to love myself and as a result give and receive love to others.
but you know what i am most grateful for today? that somehow i was chosen to walk the path of recovery as this would have never been my choice. i know it has been said that whatever it takes to bring us to this path is sufficient reason enough to accept the gift of recovery, and today i can not help but wonder exactly why i was given this gift. it really does not matter, today i can be grateful that the events that drove me to my knees occurred and i get to be more than i ever was. and that is the greatest gift of all!
so ta-ta for four days, i will be back online on tuesday sept 4th!
of course i do not, i forget what the desperation of trying to get clean was like because it has been so many days since the last time i used. and when the compulsion and obsession left me, i was able to move on to bigger and better things. in fact, i am very scattered this morning as i prepare to take off for the Florida keys this afternoon. for the past five days i had to exercise FAITH in abundance, since our destination got a bit of a drenching from a tropical storm. so this morning i am grateful that things are open and we will be able to enjoy our vacation. i am even more grateful that i have acquired the spiritual tool of FAITH. even though i checked on the progress of the storm every twenty minutes all through monday and tuesday, at least i did not cut and run.
what else am i grateful for today, well the resources to take off and leave everything behind for four days, the ability to make plans and see them come to fruition, and the ability not to use no matter what! and none of those are trivial matters.
i am grateful that i have learned how to accept myself as i am right now, the ability to let go of the idea that somehow i am a victim of my past or the part of me i call my disease. i am grateful that i can participate fully in relationships, both romantic and platonic, and friendships. and i am grateful that i have started to learn how to love myself and as a result give and receive love to others.
but you know what i am most grateful for today? that somehow i was chosen to walk the path of recovery as this would have never been my choice. i know it has been said that whatever it takes to bring us to this path is sufficient reason enough to accept the gift of recovery, and today i can not help but wonder exactly why i was given this gift. it really does not matter, today i can be grateful that the events that drove me to my knees occurred and i get to be more than i ever was. and that is the greatest gift of all!
so ta-ta for four days, i will be back online on tuesday sept 4th!
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
today i will face the day with HOPE 134 words ➥ Tuesday, August 31, 2004 by: donnotω facing this day with gratitude α 382 words ➥ Wednesday, August 31, 2005 by: donnot
α the fellowship has given me much more than simple abstinence ω 395 words ➥ Friday, August 31, 2007 by: donnot
α the program has given me more freedom than i ever dreamed possible. δ 539 words ➥ Sunday, August 31, 2008 by: donnot
¹ the bottom line of recovery, of course, is freedom from the compulsion to use ¹ 374 words ➥ Monday, August 31, 2009 by: donnot
˜ my hopeless living problems have become joyously changed ˜ 624 words ➥ Tuesday, August 31, 2010 by: donnot
⇑ sometimes, though, in the daily routine, i lose track of ⇑ 547 words ➥ Wednesday, August 31, 2011 by: donnot
• recovery has given me freedom • 701 words ➥ Friday, August 31, 2012 by: donnot
¿ do i fully appreciate … 615 words ➥ Saturday, August 31, 2013 by: donnot
∏ i will greet today with HOPE, ∏ 622 words ➥ Sunday, August 31, 2014 by: donnot
¾ gratitude ¾ 702 words ➥ Monday, August 31, 2015 by: donnot
🌜 how, exactly, 🌛 915 words ➥ Wednesday, August 31, 2016 by: donnot
⋯ and now 🎏 642 words ➥ Thursday, August 31, 2017 by: donnot
🌟 how, exactly, 🌠 643 words ➥ Friday, August 31, 2018 by: donnot
🏱 more freedom 🏲 449 words ➥ Saturday, August 31, 2019 by: donnot
🌄 losing track 🌄 199 words ➥ Monday, August 31, 2020 by: donnot
🌤 how much 🌥 454 words ➥ Tuesday, August 31, 2021 by: donnot
🙏 so much more 🙌 387 words ➥ Wednesday, August 31, 2022 by: donnot
🔈 fidelity to 🔊 421 words ➥ Thursday, August 31, 2023 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 1
The valley spirit dies not, aye the same;
The female mystery thus do we name.
Its gate, from which at first they issued forth,
Is called the root from which grew heaven and earth.
Long and unbroken does its power remain,
Used gently, and without the touch of pain.