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the force that has brought me freedom. as i finally sit down to quietly contemplate this reading, i am struck about how frantic and frenetic this morning has been. staring with sleeping in, then remote problems and just not getting done what i want to get done, although i have accomplished everything i set out to do so far, just later than i wanted to. naturally, the whole meditation gig suffered as i could not or would not settle in and allow my mind to clear and be at peace. i do have a run coming up as soon as i finish posting this entry, and i have the HOPE it allow me a reset on this morning and get my day started off in a different direction.
so, after my lengthy dissertation about what may look like love and how i cannot describe the motives and the actions of my concept of a HIGHER POWER, here i sit this morning thinking about the whole conscious contact part of the program,. on a morning where my conscious contact has been less than what i wished it could be. i GET that prayer and meditation are necessary ingredients in the recipe of life that i am currently working on. i also take no issue, in the concept that each of us, NEED to choose where, how and when we exercise this particular aspect of the program. it is just some mornings, like today, i feel that this idea is being crammed down my throat, like some foul tasting medicine. when i feel that way, i want to rebel and say fVck it all, and move on. after all, i have…
i KNOW that this is what i need, just like that foul tasting herbs my acupuncturist suggests strongly that i drink twice a day. living a program of active recovery takes more than accommodation for me, it takes integration and application of esoteric spiritual principles into my practical plan of daily living. today, regardless of how rushed or scattered i feel, taking the time to pray and meditate does not make my day any worse, in fact it makes it that much more focused on what is really important. what is that? becoming the man i have always wanted to be, and i can only augment that process by doing what has been suggested to me.
i do believe that is all i need to say this morning, this little exercise, like everything else this morning has been squeezed in so i can at least feel like my routine has not been that interrupted. before it gets too much warmer, i am going to hit the streets and take care of myself physically, and see if i can get some spiritual connection restored as well. yes it may be way out of my routine, BUT IT IS A GOOD DAY TO BE CLEAN.

∞ DT ∞