ยพ i must use what i learn or i will lose it ยพ
Posted: Sun, Apr 10, 2011 09:26:43 AM
NO MATTER HOW LONG I HAVE BEEN CLEAN!
yes, it IS quite true, that as i accumulate some clean time, days in a row as i choose to look at it, it seems less and less imperative, that i do what GOT me clean and KEPT me clean back in the day. where in the world did i get such a notion? it was and is the behavior i see modeled by those who are walking in front of me on this journey, and unfortunately it is the behavior i am modeling for those who are coming down the pike behind me, in a temporal sense.
why do we get like this? well for one thing, at least in my case anyhow, as i work the steps and complete a cycle or two, all of those seeming giant and daunting tasks i could not do when i got clean, become routine and happen auto-magically. stuff like praying, meditating, daily inventorying has just become so engrained in my daily ritual, that i do take any think about what benefit i am deriving from those activities. i just do them and move on. other stuff like meeting attendance, doing step work and calling my sponsor, well they take thought, because i never did get them into any sort of routine. i play around with the quality and quantity of meetings i attend each week, even though i do so at my own peril. honestly however, after some step work and doing this gig day in and day out, it is quite easy to find other things to do, rather than go to a meeting every day. yes, i know it was daily meeting attendance, even in the wrong fellowship, that gave me this gift, i so callously neglect to keep up.
what does this mean for action today? well i will go to the meeting this evening and that is part of my routine. i may decide to call my sponsor. i do have a step work assignment that i may put some time into today. oh yeah, and i will do whatever it takes to stay clean today.
i do need to be reminded that this gift is exceedingly precious and it up to me to keep it in working order, which i will do my best to take care of today.
yes, it IS quite true, that as i accumulate some clean time, days in a row as i choose to look at it, it seems less and less imperative, that i do what GOT me clean and KEPT me clean back in the day. where in the world did i get such a notion? it was and is the behavior i see modeled by those who are walking in front of me on this journey, and unfortunately it is the behavior i am modeling for those who are coming down the pike behind me, in a temporal sense.
why do we get like this? well for one thing, at least in my case anyhow, as i work the steps and complete a cycle or two, all of those seeming giant and daunting tasks i could not do when i got clean, become routine and happen auto-magically. stuff like praying, meditating, daily inventorying has just become so engrained in my daily ritual, that i do take any think about what benefit i am deriving from those activities. i just do them and move on. other stuff like meeting attendance, doing step work and calling my sponsor, well they take thought, because i never did get them into any sort of routine. i play around with the quality and quantity of meetings i attend each week, even though i do so at my own peril. honestly however, after some step work and doing this gig day in and day out, it is quite easy to find other things to do, rather than go to a meeting every day. yes, i know it was daily meeting attendance, even in the wrong fellowship, that gave me this gift, i so callously neglect to keep up.
what does this mean for action today? well i will go to the meeting this evening and that is part of my routine. i may decide to call my sponsor. i do have a step work assignment that i may put some time into today. oh yeah, and i will do whatever it takes to stay clean today.
i do need to be reminded that this gift is exceedingly precious and it up to me to keep it in working order, which i will do my best to take care of today.
∞ DT ∞