Β’ i continue to take personal inventory and when i am wrong promptly admit it Β’
Posted: Fri, Aug 26, 2011 07:38:31 AM
OK, following the party line, and what i do in REAL life, if i stuck to the topic this will be a rah-rah, sis-boom-bah, me too sort of blog. i am not, however in the mood for that this morning, so i will just say, yes i do take an inventory on a daily basis, yes it is part of my daily program of living the program and no i would not recommend anyone ever stopping the practice.
preliminaries out of the way, the place where i went this morning was a question asked a sponsee who is formally working his first TENTH STEP, namely what did the word promptly mean to him. his answer is his answer and need not be rehashed here, what it did bring up is how do i define promptly. after all, i am a loophole addict, always seeking the easier, softer way. so for me, i used to believe that promptly meant the next time i had the opportunity, and that by allowing the world to spin to such a place i was living according to the precepts of the program and the THIRD STEP. that definition has gotten me out of many a sticky situation, and mostly left some festering pools of harm behind to be cleaned up in a very long time scale. so long that once were little things that could be easily swept away, now have become toxic waste dumps that require a whole lot more effort and preparation to be remedied. the irony is, that the person most damaged by this avoidance behavior is me! pretty bizarre, that i treat others and clean up my messes with them much more promptly than i do with myself. even worse, i am always with me, so to delay the admission of being wrong to myself, just plays back into that whole walls of denial and the hurricane force winds of self-talk that undermines my esteem and respect.
where does this leave this morning? well i owe a phone call to an addict that i chose not to talk to last night, for all sorts of selfish reasons. i need to hop in the shower and get on the road to the corporate gig, and trust me as nice as the security of a steady paycheck is, it is difficult getting in a car and driving down to Broomfield for me. most importantly it is a good day to practice admitting when i am wrong to myself and taking immediate action to correct it. i CAN do that and i will gauge my progress in doing so, when i sit down to review my day this evening. it is a good day to look for something more and expect to find it.
preliminaries out of the way, the place where i went this morning was a question asked a sponsee who is formally working his first TENTH STEP, namely what did the word promptly mean to him. his answer is his answer and need not be rehashed here, what it did bring up is how do i define promptly. after all, i am a loophole addict, always seeking the easier, softer way. so for me, i used to believe that promptly meant the next time i had the opportunity, and that by allowing the world to spin to such a place i was living according to the precepts of the program and the THIRD STEP. that definition has gotten me out of many a sticky situation, and mostly left some festering pools of harm behind to be cleaned up in a very long time scale. so long that once were little things that could be easily swept away, now have become toxic waste dumps that require a whole lot more effort and preparation to be remedied. the irony is, that the person most damaged by this avoidance behavior is me! pretty bizarre, that i treat others and clean up my messes with them much more promptly than i do with myself. even worse, i am always with me, so to delay the admission of being wrong to myself, just plays back into that whole walls of denial and the hurricane force winds of self-talk that undermines my esteem and respect.
where does this leave this morning? well i owe a phone call to an addict that i chose not to talk to last night, for all sorts of selfish reasons. i need to hop in the shower and get on the road to the corporate gig, and trust me as nice as the security of a steady paycheck is, it is difficult getting in a car and driving down to Broomfield for me. most importantly it is a good day to practice admitting when i am wrong to myself and taking immediate action to correct it. i CAN do that and i will gauge my progress in doing so, when i sit down to review my day this evening. it is a good day to look for something more and expect to find it.
∞ DT ∞