10th Step amends
Posted: Thu, Aug 26, 2004 04:26:12 AM
lately it seems that i have been unable to talk to most people without saying or doing something that pisses them off. although this may be a reflection on their current state, it has been my experience that when i am surrounded by chaos, most of the time it is some character defect of mine raising it's ugly head.
my daily inventories while reflecting the harm that i have caused has yet to narrow the root cause of my misbehavior. this morning however, i have come to the conclusion that i do not know quite as much as i believe. as a result i am acting out of self-righteousness and the results show. of course this is the character defect i trythe hardest to avoid and i forget that it is not my job to remove my shortcomings. it is a good thing to have beliefs and opinions, right or wrong, it however is not a good thing to share them without being asked or in a manner that implies that i may know the correct course of action for anyone else. i need to get back to the basics and become willing to learn once more HOW to live. i need to once again learn to live in a humble manner and return to a state of being okay with who and what i am. what i am is just a garden variety addict, trying to my best to get by and grow. i seem to forget that is all i need to be today to live and grow.
so just for toady, it is time to return my 7th Step and let go of self-will, ego and all of my shortcomings. and the gift of seeing my misbehaviors and the attendant consequences is a gift of daily inventories and the process of recovery.
just for toady i will remember that i do not have all or even very many of the answers to the questions that plague me.
-- DT --
my daily inventories while reflecting the harm that i have caused has yet to narrow the root cause of my misbehavior. this morning however, i have come to the conclusion that i do not know quite as much as i believe. as a result i am acting out of self-righteousness and the results show. of course this is the character defect i trythe hardest to avoid and i forget that it is not my job to remove my shortcomings. it is a good thing to have beliefs and opinions, right or wrong, it however is not a good thing to share them without being asked or in a manner that implies that i may know the correct course of action for anyone else. i need to get back to the basics and become willing to learn once more HOW to live. i need to once again learn to live in a humble manner and return to a state of being okay with who and what i am. what i am is just a garden variety addict, trying to my best to get by and grow. i seem to forget that is all i need to be today to live and grow.
so just for toady, it is time to return my 7th Step and let go of self-will, ego and all of my shortcomings. and the gift of seeing my misbehaviors and the attendant consequences is a gift of daily inventories and the process of recovery.
just for toady i will remember that i do not have all or even very many of the answers to the questions that plague me.
-- DT --