Blog entry for:

Thu, Jul 12, 2012 07:47:34 AM


∴ i will ask the POWER that fuels my recovery to help me UNcover  ∴
posted: Thu, Jul 12, 2012 07:47:34 AM

 

what is most important in my life, learn patience, and devote my resources to those things that ARE the most important.
well on a day where patience is the keyword, i am certainly having a morning where i have to practice what feels like more than my share of patience. i mean, seriously, having to call customer support at 6 AM and they treat me like some sort of tool, really sucks. BUT, and yes i know starting a sentence with a but is not good form, i can finally wirte this little ditty and i have some major experience in understanding that what i need and what i want may not necessarily be the same thing.
the last few days have been interesting, and this morning i have to announce the results of my footwork to the powers tha be. although there is no reason for me to be anxious, i still am a bit unsettled. change is never easy for me to deal with and this is a major change. the whole time i have been doing this contracting gig, i never really wanted to land a real job. i kind of enjoyed doing my thing and moving on. now i am about to accept a postition that feels like it will provide me something that i never believed i needed, the security of full-time employment. ironically, i am leaving my current gig, becuase they ahve not offered me a path to that security. as i sat last night and agin this morning just listening, i felt more certain, that this move is not only something i NEED, but has become something i WANT. the people i met the other day, felt like a crowd where i might fit in. the work enviornment left me with a feeling that maybe i found a home, and best of all, the commute is a whole lot cheaper and quicker than my current one. in fact my 430 mornings are about to be over, and i may actually be able to work in a few workouts during the week, something that has not been possible for me, for nearly a year. so the BIG decision for me this morning is how do i transition and when do i leave Denver for Loveland? that too, is almost a done deal and as i head down the road towards my inevitable conclusion, i am fairly certain that the plan i have in mind is the one that i will implement.
so enough about the done deals, where is it that i truly want to be ths morning and what the fVck does it have to do with patience? you know, i can bitch and moan about how tough my life is, but when all is said and done, i have a pretty good life. i could whine on and on, about how frustrating things are when my path is blocked or my expectations, like the bus being at the station at 6:00 and not 6:07, are not being met, but that does advance me on the path to becoming the person i have always wanted to be. life is interesting, in the Chinese sense, today and with a modicum of the tiny bit of patience that i have learned to posess, i can face these interesting times, with my head up high and survive and yes even thrive, all the time grumbling about IF i had my way…
i think i will sign-off now and digest what i need to digest, see what i need to see, and prepare how i am going to start the end of this phase in my career path. more than enough to cgitate on the last fifteen minutes of my buffer from reality the bus ride has become.

∞ DT ∞

 

djtConsulting Brand
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.

Another Look!

FEAR vs FAITH 234 words ➥ Monday, July 12, 2004 by: donnot
ω patience my ass ∞ 223 words ➥ Tuesday, July 12, 2005 by: donnot
∞ i want what i want, and i want it now! ∞ 360 words ➥ Wednesday, July 12, 2006 by: donnot
∞ sometimes denying the gratification of some desires ∞ 515 words ➥ Thursday, July 12, 2007 by: donnot
μ to find that patience, i practice a program of recovery … 382 words ➥ Saturday, July 12, 2008 by: donnot
Σ in recovery i am learning to prioritize … 500 words ➥ Sunday, July 12, 2009 by: donnot
¥ i was trapped by my need for the instant gratification that drugs gave me ¥ 395 words ➥ Monday, July 12, 2010 by: donnot
℘ the problem is, i cannot always get what i want whenever i want it ℘ 726 words ➥ Tuesday, July 12, 2011 by: donnot
◊ the drugs i used, taught me that instant gratification ◊ 326 words ➥ Friday, July 12, 2013 by: donnot
÷ the obsession and compulsion of addiction ÷ 545 words ➥ Saturday, July 12, 2014 by: donnot
« i want what » 636 words ➥ Sunday, July 12, 2015 by: donnot
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🎖 sometimes denying 🎓 616 words ➥ Wednesday, July 12, 2017 by: donnot
🚆 my ** one-track ** way 🚂 545 words ➥ Thursday, July 12, 2018 by: donnot
🞿 patience 🞿 421 words ➥ Friday, July 12, 2019 by: donnot
🥴 obsession and compulsion 🥺 404 words ➥ Sunday, July 12, 2020 by: donnot
😜 i want it now! 😜 342 words ➥ Monday, July 12, 2021 by: donnot
🧭 what is really 😅 489 words ➥ Tuesday, July 12, 2022 by: donnot
👊 responsibility 👊 346 words ➥ Wednesday, July 12, 2023 by: donnot
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☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯

THE TAO TEH KING, OR THE TAO AND ITS CHARACTERISTICS
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge

Book 2

1) Who thinks his great achievements poor
Shall find his vigour long endure.
Of greatest fulness, deemed a void,
Exhaustion ne'er shall stem the tide.
Do thou what's straight still crooked deem;
Thy greatest art still stupid seem,
And eloquence a stammering scream.