Blog entry for:
Mon, Jul 12, 2004 05:26:02 AM
FEAR vs FAITH
posted: Mon, Jul 12, 2004 05:26:02 AM
i want all the gifts of recovery and i want them now
what a thought! here i am still feeling that way today.
i want it all and yet i am unwilling to make the sacrifices necessary to get them.
do i really desire living in a place of FAITH in myself, the program and a loving, caring Higher Power?
after some contemplation, i realize that my program has been based on FEAR. the fear of what would happen if i used, the fear of the humiliation of coming back after using and the fear of the pain of getting clean. although FEAR has kept me clean and allowed me to grow, i now realize that it has also limited what gifts i am capable of receiving and how far i can go on the journey of becoming the person i want to be.
the time has come to make a decsion to let go of my FEAR and reaffirm the 3rd Step decision to turn my all of my life and will over including my FEAR and learn to walk in FAITH.
i am worthy of getting more, but i still self-sabotage my life and my recovery by basing decisions on the FEAR of what if
well what if monkeys fly out of my a$$?
just for today, i will start to learn how to live in FAITH!
what a thought! here i am still feeling that way today.
i want it all and yet i am unwilling to make the sacrifices necessary to get them.
do i really desire living in a place of FAITH in myself, the program and a loving, caring Higher Power?
after some contemplation, i realize that my program has been based on FEAR. the fear of what would happen if i used, the fear of the humiliation of coming back after using and the fear of the pain of getting clean. although FEAR has kept me clean and allowed me to grow, i now realize that it has also limited what gifts i am capable of receiving and how far i can go on the journey of becoming the person i want to be.
the time has come to make a decsion to let go of my FEAR and reaffirm the 3rd Step decision to turn my all of my life and will over including my FEAR and learn to walk in FAITH.
i am worthy of getting more, but i still self-sabotage my life and my recovery by basing decisions on the FEAR of what if
well what if monkeys fly out of my a$$?
just for today, i will start to learn how to live in FAITH!
-- DT --
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
ω patience my ass ∞ 223 words ➥ Tuesday, July 12, 2005 by: donnot∞ i want what i want, and i want it now! ∞ 360 words ➥ Wednesday, July 12, 2006 by: donnot
∞ sometimes denying the gratification of some desires ∞ 515 words ➥ Thursday, July 12, 2007 by: donnot
μ to find that patience, i practice a program of recovery … 382 words ➥ Saturday, July 12, 2008 by: donnot
Σ in recovery i am learning to prioritize … 500 words ➥ Sunday, July 12, 2009 by: donnot
¥ i was trapped by my need for the instant gratification that drugs gave me ¥ 395 words ➥ Monday, July 12, 2010 by: donnot
℘ the problem is, i cannot always get what i want whenever i want it ℘ 726 words ➥ Tuesday, July 12, 2011 by: donnot
∴ i will ask the POWER that fuels my recovery to help me UNcover ∴ 642 words ➥ Thursday, July 12, 2012 by: donnot
◊ the drugs i used, taught me that instant gratification ◊ 326 words ➥ Friday, July 12, 2013 by: donnot
÷ the obsession and compulsion of addiction ÷ 545 words ➥ Saturday, July 12, 2014 by: donnot
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☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 1
3) If this transformation became to me an object of desire, I would
express the desire by the nameless simplicity.
Simplicity without a name
Is free from all external aim.
With no desire, at rest and still,
All things go right as of their will.