Blog entry for:

that my companions could not be trusted. most of all, i could not trust myself. quite a proposition, IF no one could trust me THAN the people i chose to hang with were not trustworthy either. more than a bit spurious cause and effect, but certainly a theorem or postulate that protected me well enough in active addiction, and as such followed me into the the rooms. time and again, in early recovery, my greatest FEAR was that IF i trusted someone, they were going to let me down, and IF i allowed anyone to trust me, i would end up burning them down. so bit by bit, i had to accumulate thew evidence that I WAS BECOMING TRUSTWORTHY. as that evidence started to mount, my trust in others started to grow. that is not to say that i have not been hurt, lied to, taken advantage of, or similarly mistreated at the hands of misplaced trust, but that is after all, life on life's terms, it happens. the converse is also true: i have been less than trustworthy in more than a few situations, and i just chalk that up to being far from perfect.
all of that aside, what i have learned is the same lesson that those who are part of the other 85% seem to know instinctively: for the most part, people are trustworthy and i should trust them, until they give me cause to do otherwise. and so it goes…
it has been one heck of a busy morning, and i do have to get ready to go to work. so i will wrap this up by saying today, because i feel trustworthy and believe that i am worthy of being trusted, i trust more than ever, and that is quite a leap for any addict, in recovery or not, to make.

∞ DT ∞