Blog entry for:

this fellowship is the simplest way for me to make my life less complicated.
so the last thing i want to admit is that i am a simple soul, while i want to look at myself that way, the truth is that i am not. i am unique and my experience not that of anyone else's. that does not mean, that somehow i am exempt from what i have been taught in recovery, nor does it disqualify anyone from giving the feedback that i may actually need.
this morning has been long and slow since i woke up 15 minutes early, but i am okay with that, as i can squeeze in what i want to do, between the stuff i NEED to do. which i did just do.
back at the topic, when i was just a pup in recovery, i did my best to disqualify myself by using the whole i am unique argument. part of the problem, was that i was in the wrong fellowship and i could not relate to those who were doing their level best to help me to see the light. at thirteen months clean, the light finally came on and i quickly jumped to the fellowship that is my home, and that saved my life.
today, with some clean time, and steps under my belt, i can still feel like i am unique. to combat that notion, i have altered my relationships with my fellowship, its members and its service structure. i have once again, put myself in the middle of the pack and i see that what i am thinking and feelings is not all that different from some of the FNGs that i hang with today. i am starting to see that each and every day clean is a day won. i get that although its complicated, life gets a whole lot simpler when i sort out what i have power over and where i am powerless, the stuff i have some power over, well my energy is well-spent changing it, the rest of it? well i have a POWER that can more than adequately take care of that pile of sh!t.
as i wait for one of the tools i need to work to finish its update, i can be certain, that today i am on the right path. i am not that much different from my peers in recovery and i can certainly make my life a whole lot easier by listening to that quiet voice within and seeking the solution suggested by the voices that are part of my life today, no matter how much i like or dislike them. it is a great day to be a part of the pack.

∞ DT ∞