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i need to stop using it and learn instead to use the new tools i am finding in recovery. quite honestly, there is a bunch of stuff i want to whine about this morning, after customer service calls to GoDaddy and to Comcast, i am hardly in a very spiritual place. i thought the drive in, would take away the heat i am feeling, but of course since i am in the poor me mode, all it did was make it hotter. now, that i get to dump about it, well, it just feels pointless and more than a bit childish. all of this started yesterday, after a less than satisfactory interaction with a friend i did a favor for, instead of expressing any gratitude for doing the favor, they complained it was not what they expected. i mean seriously, WTF, of course i shot off a snarky reply and the reply to that was even worse. there is a point when self-will ceased in that interaction, and i walked away, but when i swallow a feeling, it always comes out sideways somewhere else, hence the less than satisfactory interactions with customer support reps this morning, and my lingering feelings of anger and yes even a bit of resentment. what to do?
well this. let go of what happened yesterday, as it is in the past. the GoDaddy stuff should be done in the next few days, so they will be out of my life and Comcast, well they too may be out the door over the next fifteen days or so.
i could sit here and wallow in self-pity about how nothing is going my way and how bad i am being treated, but as i go down that path, i realize they are all clueless and further more, how i feel, is not really any of their stuff. the lesson learned that carrying crap, makes no difference to any of them, and wallowing in self-pity will not change what any of them do in the future. what i get to do, is dump a bit, whine a bit and walk away to be a rock star at work today, after all, what they think and do, is irrelevant to me in the here and now, and allowing my relationships with others, to be detached from any expectations, will certainly make me healthier, happier and better prepared to face what comes down the pike today.

∞ DT ∞