Blog entry for:

confusing and at times even terrifying, so keeping it simple seems like a strategy that will help me face what i need to face, just for today. i guess on that note i am done, so Ta-Ta For Now and have an excellent day!
this weekend the latest resentment meeting kicks-off in my local fellowship and although it should not affect me in the slightest, i always wonder why those who cannot form and maintain loving and commuted relationships, seem to think they know what those who can “couple up” desire in their lives. it certainly is food for thought and for me, the passion i feel for the wrongness of this all has faded into the background noise that is the confusing din of life in the real world. it is what it is and the balance here is not in the male-female dynamic as this whole series of events is way out of balance and lacks any spiritual grounding, but in me letting go and to stop pretending i have any control. i do know this, i have strong feelings about where i get my recovery and if the nature or the dynamic of my home group is affected, i will be advocating for a quick exit stage right.
as i sat this morning, what i “heard” was not all about me, but how i can help and support someone i love and care about. i certainly want to jump in and take over, as that is what i have always done. i have the FAITH that being here and providing help when asked, and moral support even when not asked to do so, is probably the simplest and most constructive actions i can take. when it comes to allowing others to find their way, i have a sh!t-ton of stuff yet to learn. when it comes to coasting on the coattails of others, however, i am an expert. today instead of seeing the world as “us versus them” i can open my mind to the notion that us and them are relative, and the boundaries are quite fluid based on what situation i happen to find myself within. crystallizing those boundaries into a rock solid structure, will only make me more fragile and less resistant to the winds of change that blow through my daily life. as this day manifests itself in all its glory, i will need to remember i am not the only one in my life and part of being part of a couple, is giving of myself when the opportunity arises.
life may be complicated and spooky, but i need not walk around in FEAR, all i have to do is let go and allow myself the FREEDOM to feel my way to the next right thing, just for today.

∞ DT ∞