ฮฑ one breath at a time, i can stay clean and learn to live ฯ
Posted: Wed, May 31, 2006 07:31:19 AM
but taking that step to breaking life up into that basic element of time is always the hard part for me. as i have stayed clean and accumulated some time, the idea of living breath to breath becomes somehow harder and without merit, after all, how can i accomplish all the things i need to accomplish in my busy day, if i do not plan and allocate time?
well remembering back to my early recovery, when i had the jones to use so badly my teeth hurt, the only way i made it through was to go from breath to breath, just staying clean until the next breath. those breaths became minutes, those minutes days and those days have extended into years. these days staying clean (or at least making the decision to stay clean) is as easy as breathing for me. the rest of life is what is so tough -- relationships, career, housework, yard work, step work, friendships, sponsorship, family time and on and on. to balance all those life complexities, takes time and effort and seems to contrary to the idea of living breath to breath. and then i read this reading and it reminds me that i need to look at how to simplify my life. sure i have to plan and allocate, but once i make the plan, i proceed moment by moment to accomplish what i can. i am only human and there really are only so many hours in a day. now that the clichés are out of the way, the reality is that i NEED to do my best to get the stuff i need to get done, revising my plans to accommodate what has happened in this moment and learning to look at my life as it really is -- a chain of moments strung together only by my memory, the next moment is beyond my ken and once it arrives it gets added to the chain of the preceding moments and stressing or worrying about how best to spend that next moment only wastes the one i have now. it really does make things a whole lot simpler when i look at it that way! so off to the next moment to see what i can get done while savoring life in this moment!
well remembering back to my early recovery, when i had the jones to use so badly my teeth hurt, the only way i made it through was to go from breath to breath, just staying clean until the next breath. those breaths became minutes, those minutes days and those days have extended into years. these days staying clean (or at least making the decision to stay clean) is as easy as breathing for me. the rest of life is what is so tough -- relationships, career, housework, yard work, step work, friendships, sponsorship, family time and on and on. to balance all those life complexities, takes time and effort and seems to contrary to the idea of living breath to breath. and then i read this reading and it reminds me that i need to look at how to simplify my life. sure i have to plan and allocate, but once i make the plan, i proceed moment by moment to accomplish what i can. i am only human and there really are only so many hours in a day. now that the clichés are out of the way, the reality is that i NEED to do my best to get the stuff i need to get done, revising my plans to accommodate what has happened in this moment and learning to look at my life as it really is -- a chain of moments strung together only by my memory, the next moment is beyond my ken and once it arrives it gets added to the chain of the preceding moments and stressing or worrying about how best to spend that next moment only wastes the one i have now. it really does make things a whole lot simpler when i look at it that way! so off to the next moment to see what i can get done while savoring life in this moment!
∞ DT ∞