Blog entry for:

i cannot move forward and the irony in that, it is me who is putting the barriers in place. across the course of the summer i have made some seriously bad decisions that are now coming home to roost. i allowed desire to overwhelm me and when i needed to say enough, i said more please. to put it any other way would be disingenuous, at best. today as i pump out this little missive to getting back on my feet, i am grateful that i have the willingness to look for and seek solutions for getting myself out of the mess i created. truthfully, i can get back up and start to move forward again, bruised and battered but still intact.
ah, i am going to break a very long-standing tradition and wite a bit more at the end of my day.
it was a good day and i heard back from the rats bastards that fired up my DESIRE and led me down the garden path. in reality, they are not going to admit making the HUGE error that they did, and i am going to have to launch a nuclear option, spreading the pain, as it were. there is a part of me that is looking forward to writing scathing reviews and filing complaints. there is a part of me that relishes them having to come to Colorado to defend against a lawsuit. all of thaose parts are fuled by the enger and disappointment, that i have not felt to date. i do not know what their next response will be, but i do know mine.
work was good as well. i had to tell a cleint that the files they sent contained many errors that would need to be corrected by them, before the overnight job i will be doing for them on Sunday night. there was no joy in that, which does tell me that i may not be the mean and nasty person i make out to be.
so suitting here, relaxing after i made my step goal today, i can see that Yin and Yang are in eveidence today and my task is to let go and move into the spiritual state that i prefer to live in, just for today.

∞ DT ∞