โ the same old rut? โ
Posted: Sun, Mar 12, 2006 04:07:03 AM
there is a saying or a writing that says be careful what you pray for... you may just get it! i did not go back and read my entry for one year ago today because i did not want to spoil the surprise and the irony of my life right here and right now. i know you may be thinking that less than fourteen hours ago i was thinking about the burden of resentments what the fuck am i doing up so early on a sunday morning, and where the hell did i get the presence of mind to be writing down my thoughts. and you know what, all of that would be puzzling to me if i was looking from the outside, to me it seems to make perfect sense.
so what irony may be the next thing that pops into your mind. well nine days ago i voluntarily left my job of nearly twelve years and have decided to do piece work for my living. twenty-one days ago i left the house i had lived in for the past six years to start a life with my girl friend. so what i am craving these days is a bit of stable boredom. both decisions have tossed routine into the crapper and i am trying my best to add bit of regularity and structure to my new reality. i would love my life to be boring for the next ten days or so, so that i get a chance to adjust, catch my breath and think about the direction my life is taking. but boring monotony is the last thing i will ask for even in jest, today i will accept that all this change in my life is what is supposed to be happening and adapt myself to this constantly shifting life style. am i confused and lost this morning as i contemplate a long drive through uncertain weather to fulfill my service commitment? no not really, actually after drinking some of my coffee, spending some time in meditation and writing this little missive to the cyber world, i am in a good space, excitedly waiting to see what happens next. i want to stretch my potential to its fullest and be more than i was yesterday, and i know all of that is possible today, since once again i choose not use, NO MATTER WHAT, at least for today!
so what irony may be the next thing that pops into your mind. well nine days ago i voluntarily left my job of nearly twelve years and have decided to do piece work for my living. twenty-one days ago i left the house i had lived in for the past six years to start a life with my girl friend. so what i am craving these days is a bit of stable boredom. both decisions have tossed routine into the crapper and i am trying my best to add bit of regularity and structure to my new reality. i would love my life to be boring for the next ten days or so, so that i get a chance to adjust, catch my breath and think about the direction my life is taking. but boring monotony is the last thing i will ask for even in jest, today i will accept that all this change in my life is what is supposed to be happening and adapt myself to this constantly shifting life style. am i confused and lost this morning as i contemplate a long drive through uncertain weather to fulfill my service commitment? no not really, actually after drinking some of my coffee, spending some time in meditation and writing this little missive to the cyber world, i am in a good space, excitedly waiting to see what happens next. i want to stretch my potential to its fullest and be more than i was yesterday, and i know all of that is possible today, since once again i choose not use, NO MATTER WHAT, at least for today!
Happy 27th Anniversary Linda! Thank You for showing me the way and givinmg me hope that one day i too can achieve that mile stone
∞ DT ∞