โ depending on others for my sustenance? โ
Posted: Wed, Mar 22, 2006 10:25:54 AM
this reading is one of those that smacks of what some people outside the fellowship would say is an inherent contradiction. on the surface it seems in a direct conflict with the principle of needing other addicts in our lives to support our recovery. in fact, when you think of it it almost sounds like self-sufficiency and one might argue that self-support is the same as self-sufficiency.
so what do i need to do to resolve this apparent contradiction? a bit of research will help. a quick trip to an wiktionary provides me with this definition of sufficiency: of competent power or ability and this definition of support: to help, particularly financially. so adding the terms self to the above definitions, self-sufficiency becomes i have the competent power and self-support becomes i provide financial help myself. well i know i do not have the power to stay clean by myself, so i am hardly self-sufficient. however i do have the ability to provide for my financial needs so i can be self-supporting, at least in this respect. no sophistry required to resolve that contradiction.
so after that small digression what does all those silly definitions have to do with being a leech and depending on other addicts for spiritual support. well that is exactly the point. in the material world, i need to go out and find the ways and means to support myself in the coin of the realm. if that means work, or welfare, or grants or finding a sugar momma, so be it. the spiritual side of my program sees the inherent conflict with the principle of self-support in two out of four of those alternatives, at least for me BUT i would not have the spiritual principle to fall back on if i had not exploded the lie of self-sufficiency for myself and asked for the power to stay clean from outside sources. and truthfully i would have probably been unable by this time in my life to ever support myself again, had i continued down the path of active addiction. i depend on THE POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN to provide me the means to support myself. i depend on my fellow members and peers to provide me the tools i need to discover spiritual growth and recover. i do not depend on GOD or anyone else to provide for my daily bread, i prefer to earn that myself and earn the freedom that responsibility brings with it. not exactly the easier softer way, but definitely the most rewarding. am i self-sufficient? not by a long shot, but i am self-supporting today!
so what do i need to do to resolve this apparent contradiction? a bit of research will help. a quick trip to an wiktionary provides me with this definition of sufficiency: of competent power or ability and this definition of support: to help, particularly financially. so adding the terms self to the above definitions, self-sufficiency becomes i have the competent power and self-support becomes i provide financial help myself. well i know i do not have the power to stay clean by myself, so i am hardly self-sufficient. however i do have the ability to provide for my financial needs so i can be self-supporting, at least in this respect. no sophistry required to resolve that contradiction.
so after that small digression what does all those silly definitions have to do with being a leech and depending on other addicts for spiritual support. well that is exactly the point. in the material world, i need to go out and find the ways and means to support myself in the coin of the realm. if that means work, or welfare, or grants or finding a sugar momma, so be it. the spiritual side of my program sees the inherent conflict with the principle of self-support in two out of four of those alternatives, at least for me BUT i would not have the spiritual principle to fall back on if i had not exploded the lie of self-sufficiency for myself and asked for the power to stay clean from outside sources. and truthfully i would have probably been unable by this time in my life to ever support myself again, had i continued down the path of active addiction. i depend on THE POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN to provide me the means to support myself. i depend on my fellow members and peers to provide me the tools i need to discover spiritual growth and recover. i do not depend on GOD or anyone else to provide for my daily bread, i prefer to earn that myself and earn the freedom that responsibility brings with it. not exactly the easier softer way, but definitely the most rewarding. am i self-sufficient? not by a long shot, but i am self-supporting today!
∞ DT ∞