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decided to adopt recovery as more than a temporary rest stop in my using career, i was faced with all sorts of seemingly untenable options. IF i was going to have any sort of life i had to choose which path i would need to take. the half in - half out option was no longer working, so my time on the wall between active addiction and recovery, had come to and end. i could choose to climb down one side or the other, or fall off like < href='https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humpty_Dumpty' target = '_blank'>Humpty Dumpty and become truly broken beyond repair. being the ;lazy sot i tend to be, i took what looked like the softer easier path: learning how to live an active life in recovery. i know now that i made the correct choice, but this road has not been easy nor soft, BUT, and yes it is a big one, i have certainly been rewarded with a life that is far beyond my wildest “pipe” dreams.
today, unfortunately i could not sleep until my normally appointed time to wake up. i woke up at three AM and my mind instantly jumped to what i needed to do. before i leave on a jet plane for our long delayed COVID vacation. work stuff, personal stuff, and on and on, as i my mind raced through “scheduling” it all. needless to say, sleep, even of the restless type, was out of the question and after sixty minutes of tossing and turning i gave up, got up and started my day. because of that, i will get a workout in and maybe even a cigar, as i finish my work this morning. i will certainly have time to take care of myself, make sure i pack all that i need to pack and complete the task at work i started yesterday. even as i write this, i get distracted by what i need to do and pause and do it, before i forget. in fact it has been twenty minutes of doing stuff, instead of writing this little ditty.
moving into today, it is time to get dressed out for the last workout on this continent for a few weeks and sweat off the stress of getting ready to travel creates. the nice part is i have the extra time to get a good one in, instead of worrying about how i am going to accomplish all that i need to do, just for today. it is a good day to be clean and ass i travel, i will remember that first and foremost i am still an addict, who is clean, because he asks for and uses the power to stay clean from the POWER that fuels his recovery.

∞ DT ∞